The Alpha King Marked Me. I Still Haven't Told Him I'm A Girl novel Chapter 156

Chapter 156: Extra Chapters (Valka & Lucien) VII

Valka

Guilt is an unbelievably heavy emotion. Now that Ilya isn’t trying to kill me with the distance, all I can think about is Malachy, and how heartbroken he must have felt when I didn’t show up to his pack. Knowing him, he’s probably tearing the world apart looking for me.

And what do I do? Hide. Like a coward.

My bedroom looks exactly as I left it, untouched except for the quiet ways Lucien prepared for a future I never returned to. The wardrobe is fuller. The glass boxes in the corner are sealed with ribbon, their handwritten notes browned and curled from time. I don’t open them. I know if I let myself touch even one, I’ll never be able to walk out of this place again.

On the fourth day of self-imposed exile, a sound like thunder shakes me awake. Boots slamming against marble, sharp orders barked into the air. Startled and bleary-eyed, I stumble into the hallway.

Several guards stand like statues beneath the staircase. Black armor. Black cloaks. Helmets pressed to their chests. Their faces are grim.

And at the center, I catch a broad back, a shock of silver hair, and an armor that stands out in the crowd, gleaming a deeper obsidian than the rest. Lucien jerks his head to a blond who lowers his head almost immediately. "Send word to Trenton. We converge at the Pass in two days..." His voice fades as meaning hits me slowly.

My gaze sharpens in the moment they disperse, heading out the the door and Lucien makes a turn for the stairs, seeming to have forgotten something. I run down on bare feet, my robe sweeping the floor behind me. "You are heading out to war."

He swats me away like I’m a bug. "It’s nothing new--"

"Nothing new?" I echo. "Why didn’t you tell me? What if something happens to--"

A stray strand of silver hair clings to the side of his face. Stubble shadows his jaw. His eyes are rimmed with sleeplessness. He looks like someone who hasn’t breathed properly in days. "Am I to interpret this as your worry for me?" His jaw clenches when I don’t respond. Because even I can see that none of my actions so far show even the tiniest bit of care. "I thought so. Not to worry. The staff will continue to attend you until you decide when next you’re fed up and want to flee again."

He turns to leave but my hand jerks forward before I can stop it, pulling him back by his gauntlet. "I understand how this must look but it’s been difficult for me--"

Pain spasms in my shoulder as he rips his arm out of my hold harshly. In the next second, he is breathing down my face with a sneer to end all sneers. "Difficult? For you? How so, Lyra? Ah, let’s see." He takes one step forward and I take one back. There’s a violence tearing out of him in ripples and it makes me want to curl inside of myself.

"Tell me you’ve been caught in this hellish loop." He runs a hand through his hair, pacing one sharp line in front of me like a caged predator. "Tell me you’ve tasted your own sanity slipping because you keep reaching for someone who isn’t there. Tell me you’ve stood in the ruins of your own memory wondering why your chest hurts when you don’t even remember who you’re aching for."

His voice cracks, barely, but enough to punch the air from my lungs.

"I didn’t even know why I was devastated," he says softly. "Do you understand that?" He shakes his head. "And this time, you granted me enough mercy to remember. And I was fucking thankful. Before I realized you only left me the memories because you weren’t coming back. I looked for you!"

I flinch when he punches the wall behind my head. And then he laughs a little. "And then you came back. And gods help me, I hoped it might be different. But it’s not." His stare becomes unflinching. "And now you stand here, acting like you’re the one being tormented."

He steps so close the heat of his body swallows mine. "You don’t get to talk about difficult, Lyra. You are the difficulty. You are the chaos. You are the catastrophe that keeps rewriting my life to fit whatever story you will it to be."

"I’ve made your life into a hellish loop? You don’t know a single thing about hellish loops! You have no idea what I sacrifice being here! It’s not your life at stake--" I catch myself before I can spill the words that’ll change our relationship forever. My nostrils flare with anger. "I fled my mating rite to be here! And I realize now how stupid that was because I never should have done that. I’ll leave, since my presence has brought you nothing more than torment."

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