The Alpha King Marked Me. I Still Haven't Told Him I'm A Girl novel Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Eighteen

"Let me help you, Rafe," I plead as he limps over to the horses, but he ignores me, grabbing one rein with his unbroken arm and hefts himself atop the saddle.

He pulls, the horse neighing as it sets into a steady gallop ahead. I run to my mount and follow closely, the tears burning in my eyes making it near difficult to feel the cold anymore. "Rafe, please. Say something."

He doesn’t, his back stiff as a board as he acts like I don’t exist.

For another hour, I watch him make slump in his horse, and struggle with the markers all by himself with his still healing arm. Then he kicks his horse into a full gallop, leading us back to the encampment.

The reins are clenched tight in my bloody hands, my throat raw with a sob I’ve been holding back. "Rafe."

Nothing. Not even a flinch.

The gates part, ushering us inside, and the cold air bites into my cheeks as I follow him farther past the buildings, towards the river beyond the encampment. Every rapid heartbeat is agony, replaying the fight, the look in his eyes when he called me that word.

Monster.

"I didn’t ask for this," I say louder, the words cracking. He gets off his horse, tying the reins to the tree. I do the same. "I never asked to be born this way."

Still silence.

The ache in my chest swells until it’s unbearable and I don’t register getting off the horse or stomping across. Or grabbing his arm, forcing him to turn and look at me. "You think I want this? I don’t even know what the hell I am!"

My voice echoes through the woods, causing a ripple across the water’s surface. Light grey eyes widen and I see my reflection in them. In Rafe’s eyes, I look small, frightened, specks of blood littered across my cheeks. I look human. Nothing of a monster. How could he think me a monster?

"All I know is it feels like I’m burning alive when it happens. Every time something inside me takes control. And you--" My hand fists his tunic. "You look at me like I disgust you."

He finally speaks, voice hoarse. "Because you do."

I rear back, his words sharp as a whiplash across my skin. And then, fury sparks hot and fast inside me, drowning all that hurt. "You’re so terrified you can’t look me in the eye when you say that, can you? Was it easier before? When you only suspected? When you could pretend I was something you could ignore?"

He whirls on me, grey eyes turning a bright burning gold. "I saw you rip that thing apart with your bare hands. Trained as we are, it takes five men to bring down one of those fully transformed devils. You tore at it and gods, your eyes. They were red. Fucking red. How the fuck am I supposed to pretend that’s normal?"

Red? My eyes were red? Oh gods...

I shove down the panic to deal with later and I raise my chin. "I’ve never been normal. And you’ve always known that. But that has never stopped you before."

His jaw clenches and he yanks his arm from my grip. "I’m not doing this with you. You’re dismissed--"

"Whatever happened to being drawn to me? Or did that change because you saw the truth of me?" I raise my bloodied hands. "Does this, all this blood on my hands that repulse you, make you want to kiss me any less?"

"Stop." The word is a growl, but I cannot.

"Or maybe you’re just a coward whose words don’t mean a dime--"

Rafe’s hand, at last, moves. He curls it behind my ear and grips my hair at the nape, a hard, possessive palm. The contact is electric and my limbs jerk in such violent response.

His thumb drags dirt and blood into my hair, and pain flashes, hot and immediate, as he yanks down, so that my neck is craned with no points to turn for slight reprieve.

My heart thrashes against my ribcage as he leans down, nose brushing mine. I can see the white of his canines, the set of his lips, the flare of his nostrils as he breaths me in. There is nothing tender about the way he looks at me. Fury, hatred and that damning want that consumes us both.

"How’s this for cowardice?"

Then his lips crash against mine.

Everything goes crazy instantly. 𝚏𝐫𝚎𝗲𝕨𝐞𝐛𝕟𝚘𝐯𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝗺

We grapple for each other’s hair the way animals do, clumsy at first, then with the desperation of two people who will die if we let the other go. I taste smoke and blood and heat. We are breathless and reckless, hungry in the way a man is for the things he shouldn’t have.

Our knees bump. My back hits a tree and something formidably hard presses against my stomach. I gasp as he grinds it against my belly, wonder filling me at the deliciousness of the feeling that glides in the heat between my legs. It flares hotter and hotter, devastating me, devouring me.

More, I moan, but the moan is sucked off my tongue with expertise, and my inner muscles clench, hard.

And just as Rafe’s hand glides down my arms to encircle the ribs just below my breasts, something strikes us both, like lightning.

Something snaps inside my chest with a pain that is sharp and sweet and terrible. My body jerks, my chest arching into his, my gasp caught in his mouth. I feel it in my bones, my soul, my blood. Him. Me. Us. The universe binding us together in an unbreakable chain.

I see Rafe’s pupils dilate until they swallow he colour from his irises. His lips apart on a sound that isn’t quite a word. Then, he stumbles back, as if pulled by a leash.

We pull apart, gasping, eyes wide. His hand tremble at his side. My lips are swollen and wet from his kiss. For a long moment, we look in each other’s eyes, trying to understand.

And when we do, no words exist for the terror in his face.

Because it is a bond. A mate bond.

Because mates were supposed to love you, even when the entire world hated you. Because the mating bond is a magical binding that structures you to become an extension of someone else.

Like... cur?

"I reject you, Valerian Ironfang."

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