The Alpha King Marked Me. I Still Haven't Told Him I'm A Girl novel Chapter 37

Chapter 37: Thirty Seven

*Valka*

My feet hurt, but my heart hurts even deeper. Breakfast had been uneventful. I’m not sure what Margot expected but she seemed rather displeased when I informed her that King Lucien hardly looked at me.

Why would he? There were fifteen other women with sumptuous cleavage cooing and giggling at his every word. Sophisticated ’oohs’ and ’aahs’ were all they said, touching their food only when King Lucien ate his.

I told her I would try, but heavens help me, I lied. I wasn’t going to starve myself and pretend to gain His Royal Misery’s attention.

Plus, no one had told me the chair at the table’s head was his. There was only one chair left and I assumed it was mine. Worse yet, the stunning woman named Lilith had told me nicely that it was mine.

King Lucien hadn’t said a word to me about my ass in his place. Didn’t even acknowledge my presence when he asked that an extra seat be brought in and sat at the farthest edge of the table from me.

Coincidence? I have no idea, but I can’t bring myself to care for court etiquette, when there were more important things to worry about.

Like my mother being here.

My fingers close around the doorknob in the same second that it opens. An older man steps out, a wired frame hanging from the crook of his nose. Sterling blue eyes meet mine and lower abruptly, along with his head in a low bow. "Lady Nythorn."

I’m never getting used to that.

"I’m here for--"

"Rhea," he completes with a slow nod. "We got rid of the infection, but she is currently being monitored for changes."

"Can I..." My voice trails off as I sight her through the crack in the door behind him. Standing by the window, staring outside listlessly. The man parts from the doorway, letting me through, and my heart thuds rapidly in my chest as I halt in the center of the bare room tinged with the scent of several spices.

"Mom," I croak.

Rhea Ironfang says nothing, eyes lost in a barely there look. Her frame is thinner than I remember. Frail, bony. She’s lost an unhealthy amount of weight and I know it’s the grief. I take a step forward but her shoulders stiffen with unease.

I swallow against the thickness in my throat, tears filling my eyes. "I am so sorry. That I left without saying. That I got you dragged into this. For not being there when--"

"What did it say?"

I pause. "What?"

She turns, meeting my gaze with hollow brown ones. "The letter he wrote you. He spent his last hours hobbled over that desk of his after the physician predicted that he had only a couple of days left, give or take. He began drafting across those pages. He wouldn’t let me see them. Wouldn’t let me in. He died a couple of minutes after sealing it in his blood." Her arms seem to shake. "He wouldn’t even say goodbye to me, hell-bent on completing it."

Her eyes fall to the ground. "I cracked it, you know. The seal. But it was undecipherable. Didn’t understand the language. I thought it’d be best if I burned it. Just to spite him. But even if Eldric never loved me as much as I did him, I couldn’t bring myself to destroy it. So, tell me, was it worth it?"

My lips part. And close, guilt closing around my heart like a vise. "I... I d-didn’t read it."

I didn’t touch the parchment since Rafe gave it to me. Every time I’d looked upon it, I couldn’t handle the ache that came along with it. I’d distracted myself with training and everything else to stretch out the inevitability.

I didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. And I’d considered taking it with me to battle. Considered reading it before we rode off. But I left it behind, promising myself I’d return alive and read it. It was the least I owed my father.

For a long moment, Mother says nothing. Then, she grabs her dirty skirts and staggers back a step, so visibly weakened that I move to help.

But she snarls viciously like a cornered, wounded animal. "Don’t you dare touch me." A ragged sob slips from her. "You always were the curse on our household. He bled because of you. He grew sick, because of you, you wretched thing."

Her chest heaves, too fast, too hard. "You should have died! Do you hear me? We were better, happier when you weren’t here. You made him miserable, ruined him, just like you do everything else in your life!"

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