The Alpha's Silent Bride: Seventh Time's The Charm novel Chapter 58

Chapter 58: 058: Bittersweet pills

~ ROSELLE ~

"What do you mean?" Ronan asks, his voice barely a whisper.

I can see the pain in his eyes, the fear, and it fucking hurts. It hurts like a blade, worse than a blade being stabbed into my chest. The way he’s looking at me, like he’s trying to understand, like he’s searching for some explanation that will make sense of what I’m saying... It destroys me.

But I have to keep going. I have to push through this, even as my heart shatters into a thousand pieces.

"I mean..." I start, my voice trembling despite my best efforts to keep it steady, "it’s all making sense to me now, Ronan. You treat me like I’m some gullible child who doesn’t have a say in anything. You rescued me, and I’m grateful for that. You fought for me. You saved me and did these... these monumental things for me."

I pause, swallowing hard, forcing myself to meet his eyes even though it feels like I’m dying inside.

"But I never asked you to do any of that."

His face goes pale. His hands drop from my waist like I’ve burned him.

"What are you—" he starts, but I cut him off, the words pouring out of me now like poison, like venom, and I hate myself for every single one.

"It’s almost like you’re keeping score, Ronan. Like you rescued me, so now I owe you. Like you fought for me, so now I have to marry you. Like you saved my life, so now I’m obligated to be with you forever." My voice cracks, but I push through it, swallowing the large lump that’s threatening to swallow me. "And that makes you exactly like everyone else. Exactly like Warren and everyone expecting something from me in return for basic human decency."

"Roselle, that’s not—" he tries again, reaching for me, but I hold up my hand, creating distance between us.

"Don’t," I say sharply, blinking away the blurriness in my eyes. "Don’t try to convince me otherwise. Don’t try to make this about something it’s not."

Tears are streaming down my face now, but I don’t wipe them away. I let them fall, let him see the devastation written across my features. Because this pain is real. This agony is real. And maybe if he sees it, he’ll understand that I’m not doing this to hurt him.

Even though I am. Even though every word is a weapon I’m turning against the only person I’ve ever truly loved.

"I don’t want this anymore, Ronan," I whisper, and the words feel like death. "I don’t want you. I don’t want the wedding. I don’t want any of it."

He stumbles backward, his hand gripping the edge of the table for support. His grey eye, those beautiful, perfect grey eyes that I’ve fallen so deeply in love with—are filled with such raw pain that I almost break and confess everything.

But I don’t. I can’t.

"I want to leave," I continue. "I want to leave your pack. I want to go somewhere else, somewhere far away from here. And I want to do it alone."

"Roselle—" His voice is hoarse, desperate, and it tears me apart. "Please don’t do this. I don’t understand what’s happening. What did I do? What did I say that made you feel this way?"

I close my eyes, unable to look at the devastation on his face anymore.

"You didn’t do anything wrong," I say quietly. "That’s not the point."

"Then what is the point?" he demands, his voice rising slightly. "Help me understand. Please. Just... explain to me what’s changed. This morning you were fine. This afternoon when I called you said you were writing. And now you’re telling me you don’t want me anymore? That you want to leave?"

I open my eyes and look at him, to I see the man I love breaking apart in front of me. His shoulders are tense, his jaw clenched, his hands shaking slightly as they grip the table.

And it’s all my fault.

"I don’t owe you an explanation," I say, and the cruelty of the words makes me want to scream. "I don’t owe you anything, Ronan. You saved me, yes. But I never asked you to. You fought for me, but that was your choice. You sacrificed for me, but that’s on you, not on me."

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