The Alpha's Silent Bride: Seventh Time's The Charm novel Chapter 61

Chapter 61: And then, What?

~ ROSELLE ~

Even after Celeste leaves, after her soothing words and gentle embraces fade into memory, the ache in my chest remains. It’s a physical pain, that’s persistent, as though there’s a fist wrapped around my heart and someone is purposely squeezing the life out of me.

I lie in the darkness of our... his bedroom, listening to every sound that makes my breath catch; from the faint creak of the floorboards in the hallway to the distant click of a door closing. Each noise sends my pulse racing, my body tensing with the desperate hope that maybe he’s changed his mind and he’s coming back. Maybe he’s going to walk through that door, pull me into his arms, and tell me we can figure this out together.

Every passing minute crushes that hope a little more.

The hours stretch on like taffy, pulling and stretching, seemingly endless. I toss from one side of the bed to the other, unable to find a comfortable position. My mind won’t stop racing. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face, the devastation, confusion, and the heartbreak. I hear his voice asking what he did wrong, what he said that made me feel this way.

And I want to scream that he did nothing wrong. That this isn’t about him. That I’m the one destroying us because I’m too terrified to believe in the possibility of a happy ending.

I stare at the ceiling, tracing the intricate patterns in its design with my eyes, following the swirls and curves like they’re a map to some answer I desperately need. The silence of the room is suffocating. I miss the presence of his breathing beside me, the presence of his warmth.

At one point, around three in the morning, I think I hear footsteps in the hallway. My heart jumps into my throat. I sit up, listening intently, waiting for the sound of the door opening.

But it never does. Instead, there’s just more silence. More emptiness, and more proof that he’s honoring my request. He’s letting me go, just like I asked him to.

And it’s killing me.

I pull the blanket, which still smells like him, like vanilla and wood and chocolate up to my chin and allow myself to cry. Sobs that come from the deepest parts of my soul, from the places I’ve been trying so hard to protect.

This isn’t just sacrifice... this is me destroying my own life to save his, and I don’t know if it’s worth it.

The thought makes me cry even harder.

I think about what my life is going to look like without him. Two words; Cold and empty. A series of days that all blur together into nothing.

I’ll go back to Westbrook, back to the place that holds nothing but painful memories. I’ll rebuild myself alone, piece by piece, without the warmth of his hand in mine. I’ll sleep in strange beds and eat meals that taste like ash. I’ll smile for people who don’t deserve it and pretend that I’m fine when I’m anything but fine.

I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been.

By the time the sun rises, I haven’t slept at all.

My eyes feel like they’re filled with sand. My throat is raw from crying. My body aches with a bone-deep exhaustion that no amount of rest will fix. I look in the mirror and barely recognize the woman staring back at me. She’s gaunt, hollow-eyed, broken.

She’s the girl I was before Ronan found me, except now I know what it feels like to be loved, and losing it is infinitely worse than never having it at all.

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