Chapter 11
Chapter 11:1 Noticed her in Absence.-1
Ethan
The days passed, I didn’t count them, I didn’t mark them on the calendar. There was no exact date when I thought she will not return It just happened. Just as things happen that do not announce their end, they only dissolve.
At first, I waited… Not in an anxious or dramatic way. I waited as one expects someone who always returns. With the calm assurance that it was just a slip, an exaggerated reaction, a decision made from
exhaustion.
Clara never did scenes, Clara never left without warning, Clara always came back.
So I didn’t call, I didn’t ask… I didn’t look for her.
If she left, I thought, it’s because she needs it. She will return when the discomfort passes.. And if she doesn’t come back… well, that’s okay. That’s what I said to myself.
I was not in love with her. I don’t think I ever was, at least not in the way people talk about love.
I worked from another place. From order. From the purpose. From growth. Marriage was a covenant that made sense. Clara fit in. She was intelligent, discreet, efficient, from a good family and this benefited us
all.
That should have been enough.
The first days I lived as always. I left early, I came back/late. I ate out. I slept little. The house was quiet, but it always had been. Clara was not noisy. She did not fill in the spaces with unnecessary words. That is why her absence did not immediately scream.
It was leaked…
One morning, as I was getting ready to leave, I opened the drawer where I keep my watches. It was empty. I frowned, annoyed. I checked the other drawer. Nothing.
“Clara, where is my collector’s watch…?” I asked, turning to the room.
The words were suspended in the air.
There was no response, there were no steps, there was no movement.
I stood still for a few seconds, with that absurd discomfort that comes from realizing something obvious too late. It was unconscious, Clara was not there.
I exhaled slowly, as if that solved something, and went out into the hallway.
“Has anyone seen my watch?” I asked one of the employees.
She looked at me cautiously, as if she didn’t know exactly what to say.
* Chapter 11 than Muse
“Mrs. Clara organized them last time, sir. I think she moved them around when she did the inventory.”
Inventory. That word…
I nodded without saying anything, but something tightened in my chest. Not because the clock was important. But because, suddenly, I didn’t know where my own things were.
I didn’t know how my house worked, Clara didn’t just live there. She held it.
It was she who knew what was missing from the pantry, which supplier to call, what bills were paid that day. She was the one who organized the schedules, who made everything work without me having to think
about it.
I thought that was comfort… Now I understood that it was silent dependence.
I began to notice more things. The breakfast table was no longer set up as before. The coffee tasted the same, but it wasn’t the same. The social agenda became chaos; No one reminded me of commitments that I took for granted. Even in the company… Something began to fail.
Not in results. In dynamics.
They presented a project that, in theory, was solid. Impeccable numbers. Optimistic projections. And yet, something didn’t fit. I stared at the presentation, looking for that detail that always appeared when Clara gave her opinion from the side.
“What do you think?” one of the directors asked.
I opened my mouth to answer… and I didn’t know what to say.
Before, Clara would have asked a simple question. Only one. One of those that dismantle an entire poorly planned strategy. I relied on that. In her way of seeing what others did not see.
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