The CEO's Regret: Darling, Don’t Leave Me novel Chapter 93

Chapter 71: I’m Not Going to Lose him.–1

Vanessa

My apartment is silent, too quiet.

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City lights come through the windows, drawing long shadows on the wooden floor. I’ve always loved the view from here. Orderly. Predictable. Like my life… Or as I thought it was.

I pour myself a glass of wine, but I barely taste it. The taste seems flat to me tonight.

I can’t stop thinking about roses, reds… Not white, not yellow, Reds.

I close my eyes for a moment and feel that pressure again in my chest. It’s not exactly anger. It’s

something more poignant.

Insecurity.

I don’t usually feel that, I pick up the phone before thinking about it too much. I dial Gustavo’s number.

Answer the second tone.

“Vanessa?”

“Are you busy?”

There is a brief pause.

“Never for you.”

I smile barely. Gustavo has always been simple. Direct. No fuss.

“Come”

I don’t need to explain anymore.

He arrives half an hour later, he brings that relaxed smile that never changes. He kisses me as if the world

were light. As if nothing weighed.

With him everything is easy, no questions, no expectations, no promises.

His hands run down my back familiarly. I let myself go. Not because I am in love. But because I need to

stop thinking.

We move into the room speechless, intimacy with Gustavo has always been physical. Comfortable.

Efficient. We know exactly what to do to get the other to respond.

His skin against mine, his breath on my neck. The familiar rhythm.

My body responds, it always responds. I close my eyes and concentrate on the sensations. In the heat. In

the movement.

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Chapter 71PM Net Going to Lose him–1

But even in the midst of desire… something is missing. Something is always missing.

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I felt his breath on my back, his lips making my skin stand on end. His hands moved to my robe, in front of

it and he began to remove it.

I felt how my skin was free, the cool and slightly cold breeze made me feel warmer his hands that were on my breasts.

I felt how he grabbed my waist, turned me slowly and… Gustavo looks at me with intensity, looking for a

reaction.

I give it, I know how to do it, I know how to move, I know how to sound. But there is no depth… There is no

electricity that starts before touching.

With Ethan it was different, with him the desire began in a conversation. In an argument.

In a look sustained for too long, with Gustavo it is immediate present. With Ethan it was anticipation.

Sex doesn’t feel the same, it hasn’t felt the same for a long time.

I saw how he kissed my n*****s, how he took my body, but where is that which is needed?

I undress him with intensity, hungry to feel an orgasm that makes me forget what I saw today.

Because that hope of returning to the life of the man I truly love has been taken away by hell.

How long I waited for him to get divorced, how long I waited for him to let me cross that line and how

long I waited for this so that now…

I took Gustavo’s body and pulled him close, kissing him passionately. I led him to my bed, pushing him

down onto it so I could start undressing him.

The contrast hits me hard, even while I’m under another body. And that infuriates me.

Because it’s not fair, Gustavo is not to blame for me thinking of another man.

But I am.

I climbed on top of him after his p***s was erect, I positioned myself on top of him, with my hand I

inserted it into my center and I began to move.

I closed my eyes remembering those moments that I want to repeat, imagining other hands.

“God, Vanessa…”

Unfortunately his voice brings me back to reality.

When it’s all over, when silence returns to the room, he stays a few more minutes, breathing slowly.

“I feel you distant today,” he murmurs.

“I’m tired.”

I don’t lie at all, he kisses my shoulder.

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<Chapter 71m Not Going to Lose him -1

“Call me when you want to distract yourself.”

tnod.

He leaves without drama, he always leaves without drama. And that should be enough.

I get out of bed and take my silk robe. I tie it with an automatic movement and walk to the window.

The city is still there, unperturbed. I cross my arms over my chest. What did I lack?

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Chapter 71 Km Net Going to Lose him -2

Chapter 71: I’m Not Going to Lose him.–2

The question appears alone, with Gustavo traveled. With Ethan too.

I remember Paris, I remember New York. I remember weekend getaways where everything seemed

perfect.

We were doing well in privacy, there were never any complaints. There was never coldness. So…

What did I lack? Why was I never more than a comfortable possibility?

I walk to the kitchen and rest my hands on the counter.

I wanted the title, I don’t deny it. I wanted to be his wife. I wanted to officially bear the surname

Blackwood.

Not out of interest, but because I believed we fit in.

Because I understood his world without me having to explain it, because I knew how to hold a

conversation at any table, because I knew how to protect his public image.

Because I knew how to accompany him in his ambition.

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So why wasn’t I enough? I remember one specific night, we were on a business trip in Milan. After a long dinner with investors, we went upstairs to the hotel room. He was relaxed. So do I.

He hugged me from behind as we looked out over the illuminated city.

“We’re a good team,” he said.

A good team, he didn’t say “we’re perfect.” He didn’t say “I love you.” He said “team.” And I, instead of

feeling flattered, felt an emptiness.

Because I didn’t want to be just his partner, I wanted to be his choice.

His priority, his history. But with Clara… he had history, I had efficiency.

I go back to the couch and sit down slowly, I remember when he got divorced. I thought it was time.

I hated seeing them together, I did a lot to keep him noticing me. He never pushed me aside, but now…

Now I must knock on a damn door to enter his office.

The breaking point that would finally put us in the right direction.

I waited, I didn’t push… well, maybe a little. I didn’t demand.

I thought he needed time, and I gave it to him.

I have always been strategic, I have always known how to wait for the right moment. But maybe love

doesn’t work that way.

Perhaps love is not built by logic. Maybe it just happens and it happened with her.

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With me it was a decision, and no one wants to decide when they can feel

trun a hand through my hair, with Gustavo I never ask myself if I am enough.

Because I don’t seek to be, with Ethan I do.

I always wondered if I should do anything else. To be sweeter, less firm, more vulnerable.

But that’s how I am.

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