The Mech Touch novel Chapter 7236

Chapter 7236: The Disappointment of the Larkinson Clan

Venerable Rosa Orfan stood silent as she rewatched all of the battles of her career.

From the time she served in the Mech Corps of the Bright Republic to the period where she fought against the native aliens in the Red War, each of her strengths and weaknesses laid bare before her eyes.

Making difficult decisions during the heat of the moment in the middle of a busy battlefield was very different from watching your own performance from old footage.

Rosa hated it. She hated the sight of how she piloted the Riot and the previous mechs she used over the course of her career.

It was impossible for her to ignore all of the flaws and shortcomings of her actions. As a high-tier expert pilot with plenty of experience under her belt, she knew what good piloting looked like.

She only had to watch Saint Dise fight with the First Sword Mark III to understand what she could become if she applied her skills better.

Unfortunately, Rosa was way too far from reaching her friend and former peer’s abilities.

The gap was so great that Rosa grew more and more ashamed as she witnessed her horrendous performance.

No matter what stage of her career she was in, there was always plenty to criticize.

She shouldn’t have engaged that opponent.

She should have paid more attention to the plight of her comrades.

She should have performed a different attack during a specific sequence.

There were many situations where she could have defeated more opponents and won the battle if she just made the right decisions.

To see how many opportunities she missed and how she was so fixated on what was right in front of her that she missed more important developments elsewhere damaged her self-esteem even further.

She had no way of denying these mistakes. Her judgment as a professional mech pilot could not be fooled to this degree. Much of her actions and decisions were objectively bad, especially now that she was able to compare them to each other.

A profound sense of shame spread throughout her being. To see her flail about without knowing any better was just too humiliating.

She remembered most of the battles well enough to know that they were not fake in any way. Rosa may have been younger and much less skilled at the time, but even then she had enough piloting and command ability back then to make much better choices.

Venerable Orfan did not necessarily feel ashamed for making all of those mistakes per se. She was disappointed in herself, but her faults were not irredeemable.

The problem was that she kept making them. She recognized that she had a number of bad assets that she had never seriously addressed. The fact that half of them were problems in the first place did not even register in her mind.

So what if she favored aggression over caution?

So what if she was a little too willing to take risks and let her machine take the brunt of the damage?

So what if she did not bother to listen to the requests and proposals of the mech pilots around her machine?

Back when she still felt as if she was on top of the universe, these flaws seemed trivial to her at the time.

It was only now that she was forced to look at her reflection in the mirror that she could no longer deny what was obvious to any serious mech pilot.

Venerable Rosa Orfan was a neglectful fighter.

She recognized that she had a bad case of tunnel vision, but never thought it was wrong because she was so consumed by her own apparent strength.

This was why she hated to review her own performance. She could not help but recognize her own faults and acknowledge the truth of her own flaws.

“This is the real Rosa Orfan.” Saint Dise spoke as she continued to pass judgment over her friend. “I have advised you time and time again that reviewing your own actions after a deployment is a valuable learning opportunity. You cannot improve if you do not diagnose your shortcomings. Your refusal to look at your mistakes has left you in an ignorant state where you keep repeating them over and over.”

She made a good point.

Rosa hated it that her friend pointed out the truth.

To see herself fumble around right from the start of her career and continue to make similar mistakes like a blind pig made her feel embarrassed beyond reason.

She no longer felt she was worthy to be an expert pilot, let alone becoming an ace pilot.

No ace pilot would fight in such a shameful manner!

“The difference between us is that your confidence is based on your ego, while mine is based on the skills and techniques that I have diligently trained almost every day.” Saint Dise continued to rub in her superiority. “You have wasted much of your time on unproductive activities. To your credit, you are not lazy, but your training is largely ineffective due to your refusal to diagnose your own problems and formulate deliberate plans to address them. Without a targeted and cohesive training plan, you mindlessly make marginal improvements in the skills you are already good at while neglecting the aspects of yourself that require more attention.”

Rosa Orfan lowered her head even further.

She felt like such a failure.

She could not bring herself to deny Dise’s painfully accurate criticism.

How could Rosa ever think she deserved to become a saint?

The Larkinsons shouldn’t have done so. Rosa Orfan did not deserve to pilot such an absurdly strong mech. Other mech pilots such as Saint Tusa and Venerable Jannzi deserved to make use of a high-grade superdimensional mech much more.

“What do you even bring to the table, Rosa?” Jannzi asked with her constant sneer. “Are you a killer of phase whales like Dise? Are you an indomitable shield and protector like Jannzi? Or are you a hyperfast scout and skirmisher like Tusa?”

“I am… none of them…” Rosa admitted.

“Exactly. You are nothing. You used to pilot a spearman mech that is weaker in offense than the First Sword, less durable than the Bastion and much slower than the Dark Zephyr. Perhaps the Riot Mark III is able to overturn most of this, but you do not deserve all of these gains. You are able to make much less use of them than the mech pilots that I have mentioned. Dise can turn every weapon into an instrument of slaughter. Jannzi can make a mech lasts twice as long as yours. Tusa can evade many more attacks than you. What about you? What is your advantage?”

“…”

Jannzi snorted. “Thought so. This is the gap between you and the rest of us. You not only neglected your training, but did not think to develop an advantage that is not yet covered by others. You are a master of none. You possess no unique killer moves and have no famous deeds to your name. You are the most dispensable high-ranking expert pilot of our clan. At least Casella is mourning Imon’s loss. No one will seriously mourn for you when you inevitably perish.”

Rosa felt her heart being pierced by the words of her friends.

The truth in them rang so loud that they deafened her ears.

How could she be so blind to her failings?

She did not deserve to become an ace pilot.

A saint was the best of all of the expert pilots. Rosa Orfan was way too far from matching this ideal.

As the expert pilot continued to mentally beat herself up, the dark fog continued to overtake more and more of her body.

Her lower torso began to get corrupted while her arms became completely engulfed.

Much of her form began to lose definition as a different presence began to surge inside her manifestation.

She was changing by the second.

This should have alarmed her, but for whatever reason Rosa accepted it as if it was her penance.

Thank you for reading my work. If you wish to support The Mech Touch, please vote with your golden tickets!

Purchase Privilege for The Mech Touch! Read a varying amount of chapters ahead of regular readers while enjoying a 99% discount on unlocking new chapters!

Join The Mech Touch’s unofficial Discord server: https://discord.gg/APB5KCU