The Prison Project (by Bethany Donaghy) novel Chapter 198

Margot’s POV

I didn’t let go of him.

Even when my ribs screamed.

Even when my back throbbed from the awkward angle I was crouched in.

Even when every instinct told me to pull away, to protect myself, to remember everything he’d done…

I didn’t.

Because right now?

None of that mattered to me.

The pain was still there, sharp and constant beneath my skin, but the fresh dose of painkillers dulled it just enough for me to breathe through it… just enough for me to choose this moment instead.

To choose him.

Carefully, I tightened my arms around his neck, holding him there as his body shook against mine.

He needed this.

Clearly more than anything else right now.

Not anger.

Not arguments.

Not questions.

Just… this.

“What sort of a man am I?!” he suddenly snapped, his voice breaking through the quiet, raw and jagged.

I felt him shift slightly, one arm wrapping loosely around my back as his other hand dragged harshly across his face, wiping at the tears that wouldn’t seem to stop falling.

“Can’t keep you safe…” he continued, his tone laced with disgust. “And now I’m sat here sobbing like a fucking baby in front of you?!”

I flinched slightly at the harshness in his own words.

Not directed at me.

But at himself.

Always at himself…

“I don’t think you’re weak,” I said softly, keeping my voice steady despite the storm raging inside him.

My hand moved slowly, gently rubbing small circles against his back, careful not to startle him, careful not to push him too far.

“This just proves there’s a good man inside of you…” I added quietly. “I always knew there was. You have real, raw emotions…”

His body tensed slightly under my touch.

Not rejecting it.

Just… absorbing it.

“You just keep giving me kindness when I don’t deserve it!” he shot back, his voice cracking again, louder this time.

The pain in it made my chest tighten.

“You could’ve died this time for real – and all for what?!” he hissed. “Because I was being selfish!”

His words hit hard, because we both knew they were true.

“Coban…” I murmured gently, grounding my voice as much as I could. “We can talk things over… okay? Everything will be alright…”

My fingers continued their slow, soothing movements against his back. “Let’s just… have a fresh start tomorrow? Work through things?” I suggest, and the words felt fragile as they left me.

He shook his head almost immediately.

A sharp, disbelieving movement forcing its way through him…

“How many fresh starts will you give me, Margot?!” he demanded, pulling back just enough to look at me now.

And oh his eyes…

God, those guys…

They were red.

Wet.

Lost.

Not their usual, breathtakingly commanding colour, but they were more washed out and drained looking…

The sight alone nearly broke me.

But I held it together.

For him.

“As many as you need…” I whispered back, hoping he would calm at that.

I didn’t even fully understand why I said it, or why I wanted nothing more than for him to be free from this pain….

For a moment, he just stared at me.

Like he was trying to figure me out.

Like I didn’t make any sense to him at all, and I knew I never did.

Then he sucked in a heavy breath.

Finally making an attempt to ground himself.

“But why?” he asked, quieter now. “When I’m nothing but a fucking ass to you?”

My heart twisted at how raw and honest. I was.

Slowly, carefully, I lifted my hand from his shoulder to his face.

Brushing my thumb gently beneath his eye, wiping away the dampness still settled there.

He didn’t pull away from me.

Didn’t flinch.

If anything…

He leaned into it.

“I don’t know…” I admitted softly.

It was honest.

Completely honest.

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