The Professor's Mate Clause novel Chapter 82

CHAPTER 82

FREYA’S POV

I’m pushing too hard. I know I am. But I don’t care.

Three hours of training. Non-stop. Shifting partially. Holding it. Reversing Again and again and agar timings whatever barrier keeps me from full shift.

“Freya. You need to rest.” Clara wipes sweat from her forehead. “You’re going to hurt yourself *

“I’m fine. Again.” I force another partial shift. My hands. My arms. Fur erupting. Then fading. “I need to get his estate it. War is coming and I can’t face it half-shifted.”

“You won’t face it at all if you collapse from exhaustion.” She moves closer. “You’ve been at this for hours or both feeds recovery time. Needs rest. Pushing past your limits doesn’t make you stronger. It makes you injured. *

“I don’t have time for rest. Asher attacked yesterday. Killed two of our wolves. He’s planning something hugger need to be ready.” I try again. Full shift. Complete transformation. “Come on. COME ON.”

Nothing. Just partial. Just stuck between forms. Just the same fucking barrier I’ve been hitting for weeks

I scream in frustration. Punch the ground. My partially-shifted claws tear into dirt and rock. “Why can’t I da fuse Why won’t wolf just EMERGE?”

Clara kneels beside me. “Because you’re forcing it. Demanding it. Your wolf doesn’t respond to aggression. She reports to acceptance. To trust. To working with her instead of against her.”

“I am working with her. I’m trying everything. I’m doing exactly what you taught me.”

“You’re trying everything except letting go. Except surrendering control. Except trusting your wolf to take over compleet She touches my shoulder. “That’s what scares you. Not the shift itself. The loss of control. The fear that if you let your wat tuly emerge you’ll never get yourself back.”

She’s right. I know she’s right. But admitting it feels like weakness. Like failure. Like I’m not strong enough to be witat everyste needs me to be.

“What if I can’t control her? What if she’s too wild? Too feral? What if I hurt someone?” The questions I’ve been ading spil out. “What if I shift fully and become the monster everyone thinks hybrids are?”

“Then we restrain you. We bring you back. We don’t let you hurt anyone.” Clara’s voice is firm. “But Freya You’ve been controlling partial shifts for weeks. You’ve proven you can manage your wolf. The only thing stopping full shut is your ex. 

[ her wildness. Your fear.”

“How do I get past it?”

“You don’t. You accept it. You shift anyway. You trust that your wolf loves you as much as you’re learning to love her that she won’t destroy what you’ve built. That she’s part of you, not separate from you.” Clara stands. “Tomorrow Fresh start. No pushing. No forcing. Just accepting Deal?”

“Deal.” I’m too exhausted to argue. “Sorry for being difficult.”

“You’re not difficult. You’re determined. There’s a difference.” She helps me up. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up. Aman is probably worried.”

The next morning I wake determined to try Clara’s approach. No forcing. No demanding. Just asking. Trusting Agong

I head to the training ground at dawn. Before anyone else is awake. Before I have an audience. Just me and my wolt and the sunrise.

I sit in the center Close my eyes. Reach inward. “Okay. Let’s try this differently. I’m sorry for forcing you For demanding For treating you like something to control instead of someone to work with ”

My wolf stirs Curious. Cautious. Not hostile but not trusting either

“I need your help. I need to shift Sully. Not to cage you. Not to control you. To protect us. To protect the people we love. To be strong enough to survive what’s coming.” I take a breath. “But I can’t do it alone. I need you te trust me. And I need to trust you. Can we do that? Can we try?”

She’s quiet for a long moment. Then. Slowly. Carefully. She comes forward. Not aggressive. Not feral. Just… present. Ready. Waiting for me to meet her halfway.

I let go. Stop controlling. Stop holding back. Just surrender to the shift. Let it happen naturally. Let my wolf take over without fighting her every step.

Pain. Sharp. Intense. But different this time. Not violent. Not wrong. Just transformation. My bones restructuring. My skin becoming fur. My senses exploding with new information.

I’m shifting. Fully. Completely. For the first time since the ritual.

It’s terrifying and exhilarating and overwhelming all at once. I want to panic. Want to pull back. Want to regain control. But I don’t. Just let it happen. Trust my wolf to guide me through.

Then it’s done. I’m on four legs. Covered in fur. My vision different. My hearing sharper. My sense of staell overwhelming. Everything is more. Bigger. Brighter. Stronger.

I’m a wolf. A real wolf. Fully shifted. Finally.

My wolf howls in triumph. In joy. In freedom she’s never experienced. And I howl with her. Letting the sound echo across the territory. Announcing what I’ve become. What I’ve always been meant to be.

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