The Professor's Mate Clause novel Chapter 90

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Chapter 90

FREYA’S POV

The challenge is over.

Adrian won. Of course he won. He used Elder Moira’s strategy perfectly. He offered mercy publicly. He forced Asher to either submit or die. Asher’s pride wouldn’t let him submit. His survival instinct couldn’t let him die. The contradiction shattered him, His own wolf tore him apart from the inside. Exactly as predicted, but he escaped Now I don’t know if the war just began or is just over, but I guess for now We won. The pack is celebrating. Cheering. Rejoicing. Finally safe from the threat that’s haunted us for months.

But I can’t celebrate. I can’t feel relief. Can’t feel anything except the hollow ache of knowing it’s tire. Time to leave. Time to say goodbye. Time to choose myself even though it’s destroying me. 1

I wait until the celebration dies down. Until most of the pack is drunk or asleep or too distracted to notice one person slipping away. Then I go to the room I shared with Adrian. The room I won’t be sharing anymore. The room I’m leaving behind along with everything else.

My bags are already packed. Clara helped earlier. Just essentials, I can’t take much when you’re running. When you’re leaving everything behind. When you’re starting over from nothing.

I sit at Adrian’s desk. Pull out paper and pen. Stare at the blank page for a long time. What do you say? How do you explain? How do you make someone understand that love isn’t enough when respect is missing? When autonomy is absent? When partnership is just a word instead of reality?

Finally I start writing.

Adrian,

By the time you read this I’ll be gone. Don’t look for me. Don’t try to find me. Don’t send people after me. This is my choice. My decision. My right to make without your permission or input.

I love you. I will probably always love you. But love isn’t enough. Not when it comes with control. Not when it means giving up my autonomy. Not when it means accepting that my choices matter less than your fear.

You made a deal to send me away. Made it behind my back. Without asking. Without considering that maybe I should have a say in my own future. And that betrayal. That complete disregard for my agency. That’s what I can’t forgive. Can’t move past. Can’t pretend is okay.

You say you were protecting me. But protection without consent is control. Protection without respect is imprisonment. You

C didn’t save me Adrian. You tried to own me. And I won’t be owned. Not by you. Not by anyone.

I know you’ll blame yourself. Will think this is because of the almost-marking. Because of the Alpha command. Because of the three days you disappeared. And yes. Those things contributed. Those things showed me who you become when you’re scared. When you’re desperate. When you’re faced with losing control.

But the real reason I’m leaving is simpler. You don’t see me as equal. You see me as something precious to protect. Something fragile to shelter. Something to make decisions for. And I can’t be that person. Can’t shrink myself to fit your need for control. Can’t lose myself trying to be what you need me to be.

I hope you find peace. Hope you find healing. Hope someday you find someone who can give you what I couldn’t. Someone who can accept your protection without losing themselves. Someone who can love you without needing equality. Without needing respect. Without needing autonomy.