The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 20

Chapter 20: 20 | I’m Not The Same Lukas, and She’s Starting to Notice

I sprung to my feet, heart pounding against my ribcage. "Coming!" I shouted, frantically looking around for clothes. Where did I put my—

The door swung open before I could finish the thought.

"I got bored waiting and found this movie where they—"

Sloane froze mid-sentence in my doorway, pink hair tumbling around her shoulders. She wore an oversized black t-shirt that hung off one shoulder and tiny sleep shorts that barely covered anything. The sight of her bare legs sent my brain into temporary shutdown.

She hadn’t knocked. She never knocked. Nine years of barging into each other’s rooms had eliminated that social nicety between us.

But this time was different.

This time, I was completely naked.

See, I’d just gotten out of the shower and decided air-drying was the sophisticated approach while I researched late Aspect manifestations. It hadn’t occurred to me that Sloane "Personal Boundaries Are For Other People" Fitzgerald would burst in without warning.

Our eyes met for one excruciating second before her gaze dropped lower. Much lower.

Her blue eyes widened to perfect circles. Her mouth fell open. Time stretched into an eternity as I watched realization dawn across her face.

Then she looked back up at my face. Then down again.

Then she screamed.

Not a horror-movie scream. A genuine "my brain just short-circuited" scream that probably woke up half the neighborhood.

I lunged for the closest thing I could grab—a pillow from my bed—and slammed it over my crotch.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Her face turned redder than I’d ever seen it. Small explosions popped in the air around her hands, little bursts of her Aspect firing involuntarily. "WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!"

"WHY DID YOU BARGE IN WITHOUT KNOCKING?!" I countered, clutching the pillow against me with a death grip.

"I ALWAYS BARGE IN!"

"MAYBE STOP DOING THAT!"

She slapped her hands over her eyes, but I could see her peeking through her fingers. "Put some clothes on!"

"I’m trying! You’re standing in my doorway! Move!"

She didn’t move. She just stood there, hands partially covering her face, definitely still looking.

"Sloane. Get out so I can get dressed."

"Right! Right." She backed up one step. "I’m going."

She didn’t go.

"You’re still standing there."

"I know! I’m processing!"

"Process outside!"

Another mini-explosion popped near her shoulder. "Fine! Just... hurry up!"

She slammed the door shut. I could hear her hyperventilating in the hallway.

I dropped the pillow and dove for my dresser, yanking out the first pair of boxers I could find. My hands were shaking so badly I almost tripped putting them on.

〘 Subject Sloane Fitzgerald’s Temptation Gauge has increased by 6%. Current reading: 44%. Threshold achieved: ATTACHED stage unlocked. 〙

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I hissed at the system.

〘 Would you prefer I withhold relevant progression metrics? 〙

"I’d prefer you shut up while I deal with this catastrophe!"

〘 Noted. Though metrics suggest this "catastrophe" has significantly advanced your primary objective. 〙

Great. My humiliation was apparently excellent for progression. I pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt in record time, trying to process what had just happened.

Sloane had seen me naked. All of me. And based on her reaction—

Wait. The Temptation Gauge had jumped six percent? From forty-four to... forty-four?

"System, what’s Sloane’s current Gauge reading?"

〘 44%. 〙

"But you said it increased by six percent. That would put her at fifty."

〘 Correction: Her Temptation Gauge was at 38% prior to this incident. It has now reached 44%. 〙

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