The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 217

Chapter 217: 217 | Platonic Friendship is an Aggressive Negotiation [PS BONUS]

I watched Rina’s shoulders relax slightly, the tension bleeding out of her posture. Her sheep mug sat forgotten beside her on the grass, its cartoon face grinning at nothing.

"You should probably get some rest," I said. "Tomorrow’s Sunday. Only day we get before Steele starts her six AM torture sessions."

Rina nodded slowly. "I think I’m going to sit here a little longer. Process things."

"Fair enough."

I turned to leave, and that’s when Felicity materialized beside me like she’d been waiting for the exact moment to insert herself into my life again.

"That was sweet," she said, falling into step beside me as I walked toward the dormitory. Her ponytail swung with each step, catching the late afternoon light. The athletic shorts she wore had ridden up during the evaluations and she hadn’t bothered adjusting them. I kept my eyes forward.

"Eavesdropping is rude."

"I wasn’t eavesdropping. I was strategically positioned within auditory range. Completely different thing."

"Definitely not the same thing at all."

"Exactly." She grinned. "So you held back during evaluations. That’s interesting. Very interesting. Almost as interesting as the fact that you just admitted it to a girl you barely know."

"Rina needed to hear it."

"Rina needed to hear that the hot mysterious transfer student is secretly more capable than he pretends to be? I’m sure that had nothing to do with your own psychological need to be seen as impressive."

I stopped walking. Felicity stopped too, turning to face me with that same knowing smile she’d worn since the entrance exam.

"What do you want, Felicity?"

"World peace. Universal healthcare. A closet that organizes itself." She ticked items off on her fingers. "More immediately, I want to be your friend. I thought we established this."

"We did. And I told you I’d talk to Sloane about it."

"Great. Did you?"

"Not yet. It’s been like four hours."

"Four hours is plenty of time. You could have texted her during the water break. You could have sent a quick message during the agility course. You could have called her right now instead of comforting sad sheep girls on the grass."

"You’re very persistent."

"I prefer the term ’determined.’ It sounds more heroic and less like a personality disorder."

I started walking again. Felicity matched my pace effortlessly, her legs keeping up despite being several inches shorter than mine.

"Here’s the thing," I said. "You and I both know this friendship thing isn’t going to work."

Felicity’s eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

"You’re attractive. You know you’re attractive. You use being attractive as a tool. I have a girlfriend who can literally generate enough heat to melt steel when she’s jealous. The math doesn’t work."

"The math doesn’t work," she repeated flatly. "Did you just reduce human relationships to arithmetic?"

"I reduced a specific social situation to basic probability. The probability of you and me being purely platonic friends is approximately zero."

"That’s pessimistic."

"That’s realistic."

Felicity stopped walking, and something in her expression shifted. The playful energy didn’t disappear, but something harder appeared underneath it.

"You know what I think?"

"I’m sure you’re going to tell me."

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