The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 253

Chapter 253: 253 | Percy Mendoza Steps Up to the Plate [PS BONUS]

The question hung in the California air and Radiant opened his mouth to respond, but before the number one hero in America could form syllables, Percy Mendoza stepped forward.

Percy’s grey and blue costume fit him with an understated competence that matched his personality, and his notebook was nowhere to be seen for the first time since I’d met him, though I suspected he’d found some internal pocket to store it in because Percy without his notebook was like Rina without her mug.

His navy blue hair caught the sun and his dark brown eyes carried the particular brightness of someone who had just spent fifteen minutes in the physical presence of his personal deity and had channeled the resulting adrenaline into the only coping mechanism he possessed, which was information.

"Actually, um, statistically speaking, most villain engagements happen indoors rather than in open environments." Percy’s voice started at its usual hesitant register but gathered momentum as the data found its groove.

"The IHL incident database from the last five years shows sixty-three percent of registered Hero-versus-Villain confrontations occurred inside structures. Warehouses, office buildings, residential complexes, underground facilities. The remaining thirty-seven percent were split between urban street-level encounters and, I mean, the occasional outdoor scenario, but the majority of actual combat happens in enclosed spaces because villains prefer controlled environments where they can limit Hero response options and reduce the effectiveness of ranged Aspects and aerial mobility."

The entire group turned to look at Percy. He noticed the attention approximately two seconds after the attention noticed him, and his ears went pink, but he held his ground.

Radiant’s smile became a different thing. Still enormous, still capable of ending wars through sheer charisma, but now carrying a genuine warmth beneath the performance that made his blue eyes crinkle at the corners.

He pointed directly at Percy with one finger that was larger than most people’s forearms.

"CORRECT, YOUNG MAN!"

Percy’s entire body went rigid with the particular paralysis of someone who had just been acknowledged by God and did not have a protocol for processing the experience.

"What is your name?"

"P-Percy. Percy Mendoza. Um. Sir. Mr. Radiant. Sir."

"Percy Mendoza." Radiant repeated the name as if committing it to memory, which given his documented recall ability he probably was. "You’re EXACTLY right! The cleverest villains don’t stand in open fields waiting for Heroes to arrive! They’re SMARTER than that!"

Radiant began pacing along the gate’s entrance with strides that covered six feet per step, his cape billowing with physics-defying enthusiasm while the afternoon sun turned his golden hair into something that belonged in a Renaissance painting if the subject of the painting could bench-press a skyscraper.

"Hostage takers barricade themselves in apartment buildings because the walls limit how many Heroes can approach at once! Bank robbers dig into vault rooms because the reinforced structure becomes their armor! Supervillains with territory-dependent Aspects choose basements, parking garages, and subway tunnels because underground environments neutralize aerial response teams and reduce collateral damage options!" Each example arrived with the force of someone who had personally resolved every scenario he described. "The REAL fight, the fight that separates a Hero who lasts from a Hero who doesn’t, happens in rooms! In hallways! Around corners where you can’t see what’s coming until it’s already on top of you!"

The group absorbed this with varying degrees of visible concern. Rina’s tail had wrapped itself around her own thigh. Theo’s massive hands opened and closed at his sides. Caden had stopped grinning for the first time since receiving his costume.

"So." Radiant clapped his hands together and the resulting sound made three people flinch. "We’re going to PRACTICE! Today’s exercise will be a two-on-two engagement! HERO TEAMS versus VILLAIN TEAMS! Indoor combat!"

The words were barely out of his mouth before the questions started.

"Two on two? How are the teams selected?"

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