The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 259

Chapter 259: 259 | You Won’t Freeze

〘 SIDE QUEST GENERATED 〙

〘 Title: Tag-Team Takedown 〙

〘 Classification: Social / Combat Hybrid 〙

〘 Description: Two of the most capable women in your cohort are currently alone in a building preparing to destroy you. The Scumbag’s Path recognizes opportunity in opposition. Defeat the V-3 team AND find yourself in a compromising position with either Camille Ortega or Petra Lang during or immediately following the exercise. 〙

〘 Primary Objective: Win the H-3 vs V-3 match. 〙

〘 Secondary Objective: End up in physical proximity of a compromising nature with at least one member of the opposing team. 〙

〘 Rewards: 800 SP, Temptation Gauge progression with qualifying heroine(s), 1 Silver Gacha Token 〙

I closed my eyes.

Of course. Of course the System would drop this right now. Not during breakfast when I was eating protein bars in peace. Not during Mercy’s lecture when the worst thing happening was my inability to stop noticing her jawline. No. The System waited until I was standing outside a building containing two women who could individually ruin my day and collectively end my Hero career, and then asked me to defeat them AND end up in a compromising position with one of them.

The Ecchi Logic note at the bottom was the part that made my stomach tighten. Not with fear. With the specific resignation of someone who had learned through repeated experience that when the System said reality will handle the details, reality handled the details in ways that involved fallen clothing, inconvenient body positioning, and the kind of accidental contact that required extensive verbal explanation afterward.

I dismissed the notification and opened my eyes.

Five minutes and forty-one seconds.

"Percy."

"Room 2C remains the highest probability location at—"

"I need you to forget the probability rankings for a second."

Percy’s pen paused. He looked at me with the intensity of someone whose entire operating system had just received an unexpected input.

"If you were Camille Ortega," I said, "and you were stuck in a building with Petra Lang for ten minutes with a job to do, what would happen?"

Percy processed this. I could see it happening behind his eyes, the shift from spatial analysis to behavioral modeling. His mouth moved without sound for two full seconds before words arrived.

"Conflict. Camille’s tactical approach involves controlling space through projectile pressure and positional dominance. Petra’s tactical approach involves controlling space through material generation and environmental restructuring. Both methods require the user to determine the engagement architecture. Neither user has demonstrated willingness to defer to another person’s tactical framework. Um." He paused. "In the entrance exam, Camille operated independently. Petra bypassed the exam entirely. Neither has documented experience in team-based tactical exercises."

Percy held my gaze. The timer read four minutes and eight seconds. A breeze carried the smell of concrete and ozone from Ground Beta’s training infrastructure. Somewhere on the second floor of the building ahead of us, Camille Ortega was probably telling Petra Lang that hallway defense was obviously more important than room fortification and Petra was probably explaining that structural control superseded projectile coverage and neither of them was probably listening to the other one.

The notebook closed.

"You’re asking me to call the shots."

"I’m asking you to call the timing. I’ll handle the shots."

Percy’s hand stopped trembling. He looked at the notebook one more time, then closed it and tucked it into the pocket on his leg with deliberate care. When he looked back at me, the anxiety was still there in the tight set of his jaw and the way his left foot shifted weight every three seconds, but underneath it was something else. Something that had been building since the first day I walked the route with him and told him that knowing all the exits was smart instead of weird.

"Okay. I’ll call the timing." His voice came out cleaner than I’d heard it in days. "But I need you to actually listen when I say move. Not three seconds later. Not after you’ve decided whether my analysis is correct. Immediately."

"Deal."

"And if I freeze—"

"You won’t freeze."