The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 289

Chapter 289: 289 | A Sitcom Premise With Lethal Actresses [CASTLE BONUS]

The track curved through the trees. Morning light filtered through fog. Created patterns on the ground that shifted as we ran. Other students spread out along the path. Some pulling ahead. Some falling behind. Most maintaining the steady pace Steele had implied was expected. I spotted Theo near the front. His massive frame moved with surprising grace for someone his size. Lyra ran alone somewhere in the middle distance. Her pink hair unmistakable even through the forest shadows.

"Can I ask you something?" Caden said.

"You’re going to anyway."

"What’s actually going on with Camille and Petra? Because yesterday was wild, but this morning they’re both acting like you don’t exist. You’d think at least one of them would be mad enough to confront you. Instead they’re just avoiding."

"Avoiding is probably healthier for everyone."

"Since when do people do the healthy thing?"

He had a point.

"It’s complicated."

"You keep saying that. Complicated how?"

I considered how much to share. Caden was smarter than he let on. More observant. Probably more trustworthy than his presentation suggested. He was also someone who would absolutely spread interesting information if he thought it would produce entertaining results.

"Both of them came to my room last night," I said. "Separately. At the same time. There was overlap."

Caden’s stride faltered for a fraction of a second.

"I’m sorry. Both of them? Camille and Petra? The two women who hate each other more than they hate anyone else in the cohort? Both of them showed up at your room? At the same time?"

"Sequentially. Petra arrived while Camille was already there."

"Bro."

"I know."

"That’s not complicated. That’s a sitcom premise. That’s the kind of thing that happens in bad romantic comedies where the protagonist has no idea why he’s suddenly popular."

"I’m aware."

"What happened? Did they fight? Did Camille try to shoot Petra? Did Petra build a wall between them? Did anyone’s clothes come off at any point?"

"No. No. No. And no comment."

Caden’s grin was wide enough to split his face. "No comment is not the same as no."

"No comment is also not the same as yes."

"But it’s definitely not no."

I picked up my pace, just slightly, the kind of shift that kept the rhythm of the run going but cut into the space for further commentary. Caden matched me immediately, his stride evening out beside mine without visible effort. The grin hadn’t dimmed.

He’d filed something away for later use and he was absolutely going to deploy it at the worst possible moment. That was fine. I had bigger problems than Caden Holt’s future comedic timing.

The trees started to thin ahead where the track curved toward the first checkpoint marker. Steele stood near the post, arms crossed, her posture relaxed in the specific way of someone who was tracking every runner that passed her with the kind of attention she’d weaponize during tomorrow’s training rotation.

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