The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 352

Chapter 352: 352 | Consistency and Other Plausible Lies

Breakfast in the cafeteria became a campaign event whether I wanted it to or not. Percy appeared at my elbow before I’d finished loading my tray with tonkotsu ramen and grilled beef short ribs, his notebook already open to a page covered in voter analysis.

"Three conversations changed overnight," he said without preamble. "Zara moved from undecided to leaning Lukas. Eden confirmed support. Maribelle explicitly stated she’s voting for you after your conversation about Rina’s conditioning concerns."

I grabbed a bread roll and added it to my tray. "That’s good news."

"It’s incomplete news." Percy’s pen moved as he talked, documenting in real time. "Theo’s core support remains stable at forty percent. You’ve gained ground but not enough to overtake him without either expanding your coalition or reducing his base." He paused. "Camille could swing five votes if she publicly endorses you. Has she?"

"Not yet."

Percy’s eyes flickered up from his notebook. For a moment the anxious exterior dropped and I saw the sharp analytical mind underneath, the one that had spent a sleepless night building me an insurance fraud fortress out of regulatory language.

"What happened last night?"

"Private conversation."

"The kind that results in public endorsement or the kind that results in public complications?"

I picked up my tray and headed toward the 1-B table. "Too early to tell."

The morning classes blurred together. Mercy’s Hero Law lecture covered liability frameworks for civilian property damage during rescue operations, which would have been interesting if I hadn’t already absorbed most of the relevant concepts from nine years of watching Diane navigate the same issues for her clients. The specific distinction between Villain Insurance coverage and Hero Exemption clauses was something I’d heard her explain to at least six different clients at dinner. By the time Mercy got to the third subsection of the coverage limitations statute, I was mentally drafting the email I’d need to send later about Rina’s conditioning schedule.

Crane’s Strategic Communications session focused on interview deflection techniques, which I filed away for future use. She walked us through three different approaches to handling hostile press, using real hero interview transcripts that had varying degrees of disaster embedded in them. The class spent twenty minutes dissecting one particular clip where a Rank B hero had accidentally confirmed an agency scandal while trying to deflect from it. Sloane looked personally offended by the incompetence.

By lunch, the campaign had taken on a life of its own.

Caden materialized at my table with a grin that suggested either good news or imminent disaster. With Caden, the distinction was often academic.

"So," he said, dropping into the seat across from me. "I’ve been thinking about our conversation."

"The one where I offered you access in exchange for endorsement?"

"That’s the one." He stole a gyoza from my plate without asking. "I’ve decided to accept. But I have conditions."

I waited.

"First: the conditioning schedule thing is real. Rina’s Aspect type genuinely suffers under the current pacing structure and nobody’s addressed it because nobody’s been paying attention. That’s bullshit and I want it fixed."

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