The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism novel Chapter 7

Chapter 7: 7 | Stop Trying to Win Fair Fights

I opened the laptop again. Started searching for Halloran Academy entrance requirements. The exam format. Pass rates. What they actually tested.

Aspect control and output. Combat capability. Crisis response. Hero law knowledge. Public communication skills.

Everything designed to filter candidates who could handle the profession from candidates who would get themselves or others killed trying.

The Unmarked pass rate was point-seven percent. Seven people out of a thousand. Most of them had money, connections, or both. Political leverage that made institutions overlook the statistical liability.

I had Diane Fitzgerald. That counted for something. Her agency had placed Heroes in the top fifty. She knew how the system worked from both sides.

But it wouldn’t be enough. Not if I showed up as baseline human with no Aspect and no exceptional skills.

The system was my edge. The Gacha could give me abilities that scans wouldn’t detect. Oracle Feed gave me information advantages. The quest structure forced progression whether I wanted it or not.

I just had to complete quests. Raise Temptation Gauges. Accumulate System Points. Pull abilities.

Sloane: Training starts 6:30am. Don’t be late. Bring water.

Me: I’ll be there. Thanks for doing this.

Three dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again.

Sloane: Don’t thank me yet. You’re going to regret asking for this.

Me: Probably. Still worth it.

The dots bounced for a full ten seconds before her response came through.

Sloane: Get some sleep tonight. You’ll need it.

I set the phone down. Checked the quest timer.

26:47:12.

Thirty-nine hours until deadline. One training session scheduled. Multiple opportunities to make physical contact in a context that wouldn’t immediately trigger suspicion.

"I can work with this," I said.

[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Recommended approach—establish physical training routine that normalizes contact. Utilize correction techniques requiring touch. Build familiarity through repetition before attempting quest completion.]

"You’re suggesting I actually learn something."

[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Secondary benefits do not invalidate primary objectives. Acquiring combat skills increases survival probability across all scenarios.]

Fair point. I was baseline human in a world of superpowers. Knowing how to fight, even badly, beat not knowing at all.

I pulled up another search. Hero combat styles. Training methodologies for Unmarked individuals attempting the licensing exam.

Most of the results were depressing. Articles explaining why it was statistically inadvisable. Forums full of failed candidates sharing stories about how the gap couldn’t be overcome through effort alone.

One thread caught my attention. Posted three years ago by someone with the username AspectlessWonder.

"Passed the exam on my fourth attempt. Yes, fourth. Here’s what nobody tells you about being Unmarked in a Hero academy—you can’t win fair fights. Stop trying. Learn to cheat better than people with powers. Environment is your Aspect. Information is your Aspect. Surprise is your Aspect. Everything else is cope."

The post had forty-seven replies. Most dismissive. A few genuinely interested.

I kept reading.

"They test you against Aspect-users in the practical exam. You will be outmatched. Accept this. Your job isn’t to win. It’s to demonstrate you understand combat well enough to not die immediately. Show them you can read a situation. Show them you can adapt. Show them you’re not a liability waiting to happen."

"I passed by fighting dirty and surviving longer than they expected. Traps. Ambush tactics. Using their Aspect against them when possible. The proctors don’t care if you win pretty. They care if you win at all."

The username checked out. AspectlessWonder had posted their Hero registration six months after the thread. Rank C. Operating out of Oregon. Still active as of last month.

VERIFYCAPTCHA_LABELVerify