I wrap my hands around his, sliding my fingers gently between his hands and hair. He surprises me with how easily he gives up his stimming.
“Stand up son.”
I keep my voice gentle and reassuring, waiting for him to respond. He fights me briefly as he stands, trying hard to get out of my hold.
“No, Cole. Accept the contact.”
I persist as I refuse to let him run from me. Surprisingly, it seems he wants to run towards the van picking him up, not back into the house.
“Stay with me a moment son. Allow me to calm you.”
He relents to my desire, slowly giving me the calm I know he needs to make a rational decision.
“I know you heard the conversation. I need to know your thoughts.”
“Dad sent him.” He whispers, his voice fearful.
“I know. Your dad requested the change but the council honored it so the plan remains the same. You have pack members at White Ridge which gives your father no excuses for picking
you up.”
He nods against my shoulder before slowly pushing himself away. Jamie finally comes out the front door followed by Micayla, Lilly and the twins.
“Cole!”
They shout in unison grabbing a hold of both his legs causing him to rock briefly. He takes his hands from mine once he has his balance.
“Hey, what are you two doing?”
“We came to say goodbye.” Madisyn starts.
“We don’t want you to leave.” Madilyn sniffles through.
“I don’t want to leave either, sweetpea. But there’s something that I need to get from home that can’t be replaced here.”
He places his hands on the backs of their heads, petting them gently,
“So you’re still going?”
I ask with as little pressure as I can. He nods.
“I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to understand but I promise I will return. For the first time ever, I not only have a reason to run but a place to run to.”
He looks up in time to see Damian pull up to the garage with Jessa in the passenger side, it’s a first to see him driving. I watch a smile slowly form across Cole’s face before he gently pries the girls from his legs. I follow him down the stairs and stop a foot or so away from where they embrace each other.
“I’m so sorry I was so mean.” I remain silent as they embrace each other.
“You’re in a difficult place right now.”
“That’s no excuse for the way I treated you. I’ll do better when I return.”
The remorse in his voice is as genuine as the tears coming from his eyes. I struggle myself to hold back the tears that letting him go will produce. He doesn’t have to die for us all to be in mourning once he leaves. I look away towards the porch as I hear the screen shut.
It’s a momentary shock to see Lucas on the porch walking towards the stairs before he sits down upon them. The familiar tug of his link calls my attention even further to him.
‘What are you doing out here?‘
I ask gently as he appears almost in a daze and quite confused.
‘I want to apologize before it’s too late.‘

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