There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL) novel Chapter 190

Chapter 190: Chapter 184. Chocolate and Marshmallow

"Should we go sunbathing?" Bassena suddenly said.

Zein, fresh out of a shower, blinked at the unexpected invitation. "Now? On the last day of November?"

"Why not?" Bassena shrugged. "The sun is calling," he said with a laugh.

Zein stared outside the window. Bassena was right; the sun had been stubbornly shining unperturbed since morning, as if trying to show off its prowess before winter was coming. It did seem nice, taking some fresh air to clear his mind. And gained some courage, hopefully.

"Sure," he said, and Bassena responded by draping a whole comforter on him.

"Go first, I’ll make you some hot chocolate," Bassena smiled, and before the esper could disappear behind the door, Zein called out.

"Do you have those...little marshmallows?" the guide asked, prompting Bassena to blink and grin merrily.

"Sure, I’ll give you lots,"

Zein watched Bassena walk out of the room, and he still stood there staring at the door even after the esper was gone. Only after a minute or so drowning in his erratic heartbeat, Zein gripped the comforter tightly around him and dragged himself to the balcony.

It was afternoon, and the sun had tilted slightly to the side. But he could still feel the sunlight, warming up the chill air. He looked at the swing chair on the small patio and the patch of grass on the balcony. Without hesitation, he stepped into the grass, feeling the sharp edge tickling his bare feet. The sunny day had prevented the grass from getting damp, and Zein comfortably took a seat on the green bed, staring at the sky while waiting for Bassena.

Vaguely, as the comforter enveloped him, he could smell a familiar scent. Leather and sandalwood. The scent was on the comforter and the sweater that he borrowed. It was on his skin, and his slightly damp hair. It was in his memory, of every time he was standing close enough to Bassena. And he recalled it faintly, the first time he smelled that scent; a small sentry box in the face of the Deathzone.

Zein gripped the comforter and wrapped it tighter around himself, even though he didn’t feel too cold anymore. But it was comforting to bask in the sun and the scent, and Zein felt like he didn’t mind drowning in it.

"Are you cold?" the husky voice woke him up from his temporary bliss. But rather than minding it, Zein welcomed the stronger scent coming at him, with a whiff of sweetened cocoa.

"No," Zein replied, rather dreamily, while taking the warm mug in his hand.

"Oh, good, I don’t want you to get sick," Bassena sighed in relief as he plopped down beside the guide, slipping the comforter around him too. He obviously wouldn’t feel cold at a mere ten degrees Celcius, but he wouldn’t pass up a chance to snuggle on his guide. And anyway, Zein did not protest, just quietly enjoying his hot chocolate.

"I did not expect you would have these cute things in your home," Zein commented as he savor the sweet taste inside his mouth, staring at the tiny white pillows bobbing up and down the decadent liquid. Definitely better than alcohol.

Bassena leaned into the guide slightly and replied in a whisper. "I have some stash so I could treat my sweet-loving guide whenever he decided to come," when Zein raised his brow, Bassena added with a shrug. "Well, Shin likes to invite himself here too, but he’s not important."

Zein blinked repeatedly, before a snort came out, followed by a soft, beautiful sound of laughter. Bassena leaned back, propped on his arms, and tilted his head to watch the face that slowly brightened with each stroke of breath. And even though he wanted to just watch it all unfold beautifully, he couldn’t help to open his mouth.

"You’re laughing again," Bassena muttered under his breath, the soft smile carved on his lips reflected the relief in his heart.

The laughter stopped--to Bassena’s dismay--and the guide froze, blue eyes looking at the esper, slightly widened. There was a mixture of tenderness, and regret, and yearning that Bassena felt in the cemetery, that he saw on the day Zein told him to wait.

He did not wait for this one.

It tasted like chocolate and marshmallow, of sweet and soft feelings, reveling in the way the blue eyes flickered, the long black eyelashes fluttered and the lips parted to welcome him. Bassena caressed the bare nape, scratching the root of the black hair, and they just stopped, there, lips pressed into each other, until Zein pulled away with a sigh.

"I’m sorry," the guide whispered.

"Zein--"

"No, truly," Zein pulled away further, so he could look at the esper’s face clearly. "I’m sorry," he repeated, shifting his gaze back to the garden he’d been staring at before. "I was...I’m such an asshole."

Bassena stared at the guide’s side profile, at the slight frown hidden behind a black fringe. "Well..." Bassena narrowed his eyes and twisted his lips. "Yeah, you kinda act like one last night," he said lightheartedly. "But I have to say it’s kind of refreshing seeing you like that--ah, I’m not mocking you or anything, just--"

"Yeah, I got it," Zein let out a smile. "Sorry, and...thank you, for enduring it," he bit his cheek and after mulling it for a bit, added in a softer voice. "For enduring me."

"Okay," Baseena replied with a smile. There were still some dark clouds hanging behind those blue eyes, like a stalking stormy sky. But he could also see the brilliant light again, which made those eyes shine like a jewel.

Bassena swallowed his hesitation, and took the guide’s hand, rubbing it gently. "Hey, umm..."

Zein turned his head to look at him, and Bassena continued carefully. "I’m not telling you to do it now, but if you’re ready, you might...want to tell me more about what you see or just...what you feel?" he peered into the blue eyes and when he saw they hardened for a bit, he added quickly; "I don’t want to force you, but I think it’ll be good. It doesn’t have to be me--"

"You’re wrong," Zein cut him, and Bassena paused, heart dropped to his stomach.

"...oh, well..."

Bassena stretched his lips, repeated with subtle delight. "Except me," he nodded. "Why? Was it because I’m the biggest catch? No, that doesn’t make sense."

If that were the case, Zein should never deny Bassena’a advance at the start. "You’re not the type that would just take advantage of someone. And I know you well enough to know that you’re not that kind of person," Bassena said, and then added firmly. "Everyone knows. And I bet your brothers know too."

Bassena could see the blue eyes shaking again, although, in his relief, it was nowhere as severe as last night.

"What you’re doing is not taking advantage of me," Bassena said, pulling the edge of the comforter and wrapping the guide tightly inside it. "You’re just...being vulnerable," he shrugged, "You want to confide, you want to get close, you want to ask for help. You want to...lean, on someone, without having to think about it as a favor. But your experience tells you that you can’t do that. That there’s always payment for something, that there’s always a give and take."

He was there too, although maybe not as severe as Zein. But he was definitely there too, when he was trained to be a killing machine, and was told to never show weakness. It took him being beaten and realizing that he was still weak either way, until he started to ask for help.

"And it’s fine," Bassena caressed the stunned guide. "Even if you take advantage of me, I’m fine with it--no, I want you to do it," he looked straight into the blue eyes and smiled deeply. "Use me." _{freewёbn૦νeɭ.com}

Zein opened his mouth silently for a few seconds, before muttering with slightly quivering lips. "You’re crazy,"

Bassena laughed, a lighthearted sound that showering punch after punch to Zein’s already weakening wall. "Am I?"

The esper grabbed the chocolate mug and stood up. "I’ll warm this up," he said casually before walking back to the bedroom.

Zein, who only woke up from his surprise a moment later, swiftly got up and strode inside to catch up to the esper.

"Bas--"

"You know what," Bassena turned around, a playful smile on his face. "That guilt you have because you feel like you’re using me...Isn’t that because you at least have an affection for me?" he spread his arms and shrugged cheekily.

But Zein clearly didn’t think it was funny, so Bassena chuckled and put the mug down on the nightstand, before approaching the guide and grasping the frowning face. "So it’s fine," he said firmly. "Use me, be guilty. I’ll take advantage of that too."

"You’re such a fool,"

Bassena smirked and answer lightheartedly. "I don’t mind being a fool."

Zein stared at the warm, shimmering amber eyes and the soft curl of the esper’s lips. He took a breath, once, twice, and then grasped Bassena’s face and kissed him hard.