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THE lounge buzzed with soft music and the clinking of glasses as Adrian leaned back in his seat, a proud smile stretching across his face. The guys had just gathered for their usual evening hangout, their glasses half-filled, the table already littered with peanuts and small plates. Adrian tapped the rim of his glass with his index finger, as though waiting for the right moment to drop his announcement.
“Guys,” he began, his voice carrying that mix of pride and restraint, “my girl bagged three awards at school today.”
The group instantly reacted.
“Oh wow!” Leonard exclaimed, leaning forward.
“Great!” Jakes added, raising his glass.
“Wonderful!” another voice chimed in, it was Leonard.
Adrian’s smile widened.
“She even bagged the best student in her class.”
There were whistles and pats on the table.
“Ahh! Right,” Leonard said knowingly. “She took after your brains.”
Adrian chuckled, pretending to wave it off, though his chest swelled.
“Yeah, and now I have been invited to come give a speech. Guys, I feel so proud of her.”
They all nodded in approval.
“Yeah, you have to, you really have to,” Jakes encouraged.
“It is your moment,” Leonard said.
Adrian leaned back, basking in their affirmation.
“Hazel is my princess. Anything for her.”
Leonard smirked, swirling his glass.
“Well, that is good for you. Honestly, I don’t even know anything about my kids’ schools. Teachers, headmistress, principal, nothing. I don’t even know what term they are in. All I do is pay their bills and that is it.”
Adrian and the others laughed.
“You are hopeless,” Adrian said.
Leonard shrugged.
“Hopeless but free of stress.”
Jakes shook his head.
“Can’t relate. My wife and kids are in another country, you all know that. I just send money across borders, that is my role.”
The friends exchanged looks, nodding. It was true, they had always known Jakes’ situation.
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From there, the talk turned naturally to the matter of school bills.
“Honestly,” Leonard groaned, “training kids in school these days is like undergoing a one-billion-dollar project.” “Yes!” Jakes agreed, almost slamming his hand on the table. “Tuition alone is like rent in Banana Island. And then you add books, uniforms, excursions, parties- God!”
Adrian leaned forward, laughing as he shook his head.
“Hazel’s end-of-the-year party almost emptied my bank account. But anyway, she deserves it. She is a princess.”
“Of course,” Leonard teased. “Your princess with an expensive crown.”
They all burst out laughing, raising their glasses in the air.
Leonard, however, wasn’t done with his own revelations. He smirked, straightening up in his chair.
“Speaking of expensive crowns… gentlemen, let me announce something. I have a new catch. My new mistress.” The table erupted.
“Ahhh! Leonard, Leonard!” Adrian said, half-amused, half-accusing.
“Look here, if you see this babe-” Leonard began, motioning with both hands as though sculpting curves in the air. “In fact, she is a blessing to mankind. Her name is Joan. If you meet Joan, you will realize this one was created on a Sunday by God himself. Everything is full. Backside, boobs, everything. She has it all.”
The men roared with laughter.
Adrian shook his head, holding his stomach.
“You are crazy, man.”
Jakes leaned back with a grin.
“I think I agree with you on this one.”
Leonard grinned, finally feeling like someone was seeing the world as he did.
“Yeah, I think I do,” Jakes continued. “Mistresses are really needed in the system. Yes, they are. Because if you take them away, the system would actually explode.”
“Bro, bro,” Adrian interjected, raising his glass in agreement. “Let me explain something to you, it is not just about the sex. It is about more.”
“Exactly!” Jakes said, snapping his fingers.
Leonard nodded, as if testifying at church.
“They don’t nag, they don’t complain, they just do things the way you want them to. They understand.”
“They understand,” Jakes echoed.
“They know their roles,” Leonard added. “Brotherly, look here, if you tell them how you feel, express your emotions to them, they would just take your head and rest it on their boobs.”
The entire table collapsed into uncontrollable laughter.
“Bro!” Jakes shouted, pointing at him. “You are a fool. You are an idiot!”
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They clinked glasses again, laughing louder, some of them almost spilling their drinks.
Adrian, wiping a tear from his eye, grew a bit serious.
“But you know, it is not like I don’t love my wife. Of course I do. But at the end of the day, we are men. Yes, we are men. And it is in our nature to have more than one woman.”
The others hummed in agreement.
“As long as the bills are being paid,” Jakes added, “we take care of everything in the house, then tell me, what else should stop us from getting a mistress, huh?”
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