Too Lazy to be a Villainess novel Chapter 207

Chapter 207: Suspicious Girlfriend Energy

[Lavinia’s POV – Hallway, Leaving Cassius’s Chamber]

I walked out of Papa’s chamber, macarons still sweet on my tongue, but my head... ugh, still circling his strange words.

"What if one day you find out I abandoned you?"

Why would he ask me that? Papa, who hovers like a hawk, scolds me for skipping one page of paperwork and duels weekly once to check whether I am strong or not. When did he ever neglect me? Ridiculous.

I shook my head quickly. "Nope. Overthinking. Overthinking ruins skin. Stress equals wrinkles. Wrinkles equal losing my crown princess glow."

"Lavi."

I turned to see Osric marching toward me, all knightly and serious as always. His brows were knit together.

"Did you ask His Majesty... if you’re allowed to go out and buy a dress?" he asked. 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝘦𝓌𝑒𝑏𝑛𝑜𝘷𝑒𝘭.𝒸𝘰𝑚

"Yes," I replied with a majestic nod. "I did. Papa granted me royal permission."

"...He did?"

"Yes." I swayed forward, already heading down the corridor.

Osric followed at once, his boots clicking. "Then shall we leave?"

"Yes."

We walked for a few seconds in silence. But my brain—no, my soul—was too restless. I stretched my arms dramatically toward the ceiling, nearly smacking a passing servant in the face.

"LET’S GOOOOO SHOPPING AND BURN ALL THE STRESS OF MY TRAGIC LIFE!"

Half the maids froze. One dropped her tray.

Osric pinched the bridge of his nose. "And... what kind of stress, exactly, are you talking about?"

I stopped mid-stride, spinning on my heel with all the grace of a theater actress about to deliver a monologue. "Oh, Osric. Sweet, naïve Osric. You will never understand. A woman has many stresses in life."

His expression: deadpan. "Right."

I jabbed a finger at him like I was lecturing a clueless child. "And when that woman is not just any woman, but the Crown Princess of the empire, those stresses increase tenfold!"

He opened his mouth. I cut him off.

"And when—AND WHEN—the god who created this world decides to give me this hair, this face, this dazzling charisma..." I tossed my golden hair dramatically. "—do you have any idea the pressure I face daily, Osric? The burden of perfection?"

Osric just stared at me. Slowly. Painfully.

"...I see," he said at last, in the tone of a man who very much did not see. "Shall we leave now before you make the servants faint?"

"Yes!" I declared proudly, swishing my dress as if I were on a runway. "Let us descend upon the marketplace like royalty incarnate—and may the fabric vendors pray they survive my presence."

Osric chuckled and muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, "May I survive your presence."

I chose to ignore it. For the sake of our pure love.

***

[Dawnspire Wing—Lavinia’s Chamber—Later]

Sera appeared like a lightning bolt of determination, shoving a pouch into my arms with so much force I nearly staggered back. "Here, Your Highness. I packed everything you could possibly need."

I blinked down at the pouch, suspicious. "...This feels heavy. You didn’t put a dagger in here, did you?"

"No," she said firmly. Then her eyes sparkled like a woman possessed. "I put two."

Osric coughed. I chose not to comment.

I adjusted the pouch on my shoulder and smiled. "Why don’t you come along, Sera? You’ll get bored staying here all day—"

Her entire body suddenly erupted in fiery energy, fists clenched, eyes blazing. "I. Cannot. Leave."

"Uh—"

"I must prepare for your Tea Party Celebration," she announced, voice trembling with sheer intensity. "I must sip every tea, smell every tea, and test every tea. Each blend must be flawless—balanced in aroma, perfect in taste, and harmonious with pastries. AND!" She jabbed a finger toward the ceiling as if declaring war. "Every cup shall come with a warning label if necessary!"

There was a very, very long silence.

Osric and I just... stared.

Finally, I whispered, "Did she just say... tea with warnings?"

Osric’s jaw twitched. "...Yes. Yes, she did."

I tilted my head at him. "Do we... have tea with warnings, Osric?"

His expression was blank, but I swear his soul had left his body. "...Not until this exact moment. Sera must’ve... invented it."

"Wonderful," I muttered, rubbing my temples. "My tea party is going to be a battlefield. Forget sugar cubes, we’ll need shields."

Trying to regain some semblance of sanity, I asked, "Fine. Then what about Rey and Marshi?"

Sera straightened, her voice sharp again. "Lord Rey said he has important work to do and went out."

I nodded.

"And Marshi?" I prompted.

"... It’s been five days already. Seriously, how much stamina does that divine tiger have?" I muttered under my breath before grimacing. "Gods forbid I end up clearing away the corpse of his poor mate. That would be awkward."

I threw my hands up. "THE PEOPLE AROUND ME WITH DIVINE BEINGS ARE NOT NORMAL!"

Sera was already muttering to herself about roasting oolong and balancing bitterness with warnings. Osric was contemplating matchmaking a divine eagle. And me? I was supposed to be the normal one.

Which, frankly, was the scariest part of all...BECAUSE I AM INSANE TOO!!!

DAMN IT!!!

I clutched my pouch, straightened my spine like a warrior going to battle, and marched forward. "Let’s... let’s leave before I lose my remaining sanity," I declared, my voice echoing through the hallway like a tragic heroine narrating her doom.

The maid bowed so fast she nearly tripped. Osric pinched the bridge of his nose. "...Shopping therapy. Right."

His lips twitched as if he wanted to laugh louder, but he wisely chose silence. And just like that—I left for shopping.

Because at this rate...I DEFINITELY NEED IT!!!

***

[Lily Boutique—Capital City—Later]

The carriage rolled to a stop, and Osric immediately stepped down with that stiff, Grand duke-ly elegance of his. He stretched out his hand toward me like some gallant storybook hero.

I placed my small hand in his, daintily hopping out with grace.

We stopped right in front of Lily Boutique, the sign glittering in gold letters. I tilted my head, lips pursing.

"Hmmm... is this that famous boutique I keep hearing about?"

Osric nodded briskly. "Yes. I heard all noble women come here often for their shopping. They have... different kinds of varieties. Always following the latest trends."

I froze mid-step. Slowly, very slowly, I turned to glare at him.

"Oh? Wow." I drawled, narrowing my eyes like a detective about to catch a cheating suspect. "Tell me, Osric... don’t you think you have way too much information about ladies’ stores?"

He blinked. "...Eh?"

I leaned in closer until our noses nearly touched, my red eyes gleaming with suspicion. "Don’t tell me..." My voice dropped low and dramatic. "You spy on women when they shop? Hmmm? Do you?"

Invisible daggers shot from my gaze, stabbing him repeatedly in his guilty little soul.

His face twitched, and he gave the weakest, most nervous laugh I’d ever heard. "Wha—what are you even saying, Lavi? I—I only have my eyes on you!" He jabbed his finger at his own chest like an oath. "Me? Glance at other women? I don’t even glance at the first letter ’W’ in the word woman!"

I squinted, deadpan. "...Really?"

"Yes! Really!" He looked like he was about to faint. "The only female existence in my dictionary is you, My dear Lavi!"

I crossed my arms. "Hmmm. Sounds like exactly the kind of thing a guilty man would say."

He flailed his arms. "I am NOT guilty! I’m innocent!"

I gave him one last piercing stare... and then huffed, turning toward the boutique. "Hmph. Fine. But I’ll be watching you. One wrong move, Osric, and I’ll drag you into the women’s undergarment section until you cry."

He followed close behind, practically tripping over his own feet as he pleaded, "Lavi... I’m telling the truth. I have only eyes on you—my love."

I didn’t even glance at him. Nope. Crown princess mode: activated. With my chin raised and my steps echoing across the marble floor, I ignored his desperate words and marched straight inside the boutique.