She had been here. In this water. In these arms. With this heartbeat against her spine. She knew it the way she knew how to breathe, with a certainty that lived below thought and above proof.
The memory wasn’t there. The feeling was. And the feeling was so much worse because it was a promise without a receipt, a home she could stand inside but couldn’t find the door to, and every second he held her was another second she spent memorizing something she had apparently already memorized and lost.
His voice broke her out of her thoughts.
"What are you thinking about right now?"
She realized he could probably feel that and was wondering what she was trying to remember. It was easy to forget that matebonds were a two-way street.
"Have we done this before?"
The question came out more uncertain than she meant it to.
He didn’t hesitate. "Yes. We did this earlier this week."
The statement put a lump in the back of her throat. Earlier this week might as well have been a lifetime ago.
"We did it every day before I lost my memories," he added.
"You lost your memories too?"
"Yes. I’ve been getting them back though. And you are going to get yours back too."
"How much have you gotten back?"
"Most of it. There are still gaps. Moments I know happened but can’t see yet."
"How do you know they happened if you can’t see them?"
"Because the people around me mention things in passing. Things they don’t realize I don’t know and I have been filling in the gaps."
That hit the nail on the head for exactly what she had been going through. Tears were in her eyes before she could stop them. One fell into the green water and disappeared.
His thumb caught the second tear before it fell. "Don’t cry in the bath. It throws off the salt ratio and I already fucked that up once tonight."
Something between a laugh and a hiccup left her chest.
"The memory thing is hell. I know." His voice softened by one degree. "And from what I can tell, you’ve been handling it by sprinting through kingdoms, riding demons, and falling through clouds, which is impressive and also completely insane."
Her body softened against his by one degree and his arms tightened by exactly the same amount.
"But, good news, you married someone who’s going to fill in every gap. Even the ones that make me look bad."
It was the closest thing to a normal conversation she’d had all week and her body gave it approximately three seconds before pulling the fire alarm.

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