On the Edge (The Grange Complex Book 1) novel Chapter 39

Sasha

I was throwing up right, left and centre this morning. Dexter was out at seven, so luckily he didn’t see me hanging over the toilet. He normally didn’t work Saturdays, but because of our holiday he had a backlog of things that he had to take care of. The pregnancy news came like a storm in the middle of a sunny day and I wasn’t sure what to do, how to feel about the fact that there was a tiny part of Dex inside my womb. I should have told him last night in the shower, but I got scared. He was doing all these wonderful things to my body, distracting me from my erratic thoughts. Maybe I was deluding myself, thinking that we were together forever.

Dex was going to lose his mind, panic or run away. We hadn’t discussed the subject of family or even marriage. First things first, I needed to see a doctor and find out if everything was all right. I felt like I was in a right mess, forgetting about that hormonal shot last month. After my miscarriage I’d dreamt about this day for months, and now that it was here I was panicking, because the timing wasn’t right.

On Saturday we normally hung out in the city, if Dexter didn’t have to work. After the shower, I cleaned the apartment, ate some breakfast and then called Gina, asking if she would meet me for a late lunch later on.

Mum would have known what to do, but I didn’t want to tell her anything yet. Dexter deserved to find out first, before anyone else did, but Gina was a good friend and I could use her advice. I was happy and scared at the same time, not knowing how to deal with the shock. After my last miscarriage I wondered if I would never be ready. Dexter was a grown man. He’d proved to me that he had changed. It was time to show me if he was still the man that I had fallen for.

The weather had improved a bit, but it was cold. Edinburgh was busy and many people were out, rushing around. Dexter’s office was in the north part of the city. We were going out for a dinner tonight. Apparently he was celebrating finishing another big project. Since I started working in the hospital, I made quite a number of friends, but I didn’t want to speak to any of them about this. Gina was the right kind of person and I just needed to lay out this whole situation for her. I still had no idea what had been going in her own love life. She always managed to avoid talking about herself.

“Wow, look at you, Miss Tanned. So how was the holiday?” she asked, joining me in the restaurant. Her fiery hair was sticking out and the short bob suited her.

“Great. We both loved Barcelona. Spent most of the time partying. The weather was gorgeous.”

The waiter approached us and took our orders. I needed to remember that I couldn’t touch alcohol. I drank so much in Barcelona, not even realising that I was expecting. Now I felt really guilty and lost. This whole secret all of a sudden felt daunting.

“Well, in that case we should celebrate it. We should order some cocktails.” Gina laughed, calling up the waiter again, but I stopped her.

“No, no, I can’t have any alcohol. This is why I called you. I’m going through a crisis,” I said quickly.

She lifted her left eyebrow, and after about five seconds, her jaw dropped.

“Fuck! Your mouthy boyfriend knocked you up. Didn’t he?”

I covered my face in my palms, taking a few shallow breaths. She pulled my hands down, widening her wide eyes.

“Does he know?” she asked.

“No, I just found out yesterday and I’m petrified to say anything. I thought that I was still all right. I missed that hormonal shot last month,” I explained, shaking my head. My and Dex’s relationship was very physical, and we had always had a lot of sex. It was how we stayed connected. He didn’t like showing his feelings too much and I felt that he wasn’t ready for kids or even marriage. “I asked him last night in the shower if we were serious, and he didn’t really give me a straightforward answer.”

Gina knew everything about Dex. She was my complete confidant, but she had never showed up at any of my parties in the apartment or hung out with me and Dex. I stopped trying to figure her out after a few months. She just liked being secretive.

“You have to tell him. I guess it’s time for him to man up.”

“What if he doesn’t want this baby? What if this will break us?”

“For fuck’s sake, Sash, when did you become insecure? Dexter Tyndall is the father of your child. You said that he changed, so it’s time to see if he really has balls.”

The drinks came in and I sipped some water.

“All right, fine. I’ll tell him tonight, during dinner,” I assured her.

“Sasha, don’t worry. He’s your man and you’re done with playing now. This is serious shit.”

We talked then about my holiday and about seeing the doctor. Dexter paid for a private medical insurance even though I was happy with NHS. After lunch and more telling off from her, we drove to the private surgery in another area. This was just the beginning and I was freaking out myself, because my man was still wary of being fully committed to me

Dexter

I managed to get out of the office at two o’clock. The next week was going to be stressful. We were purchasing two big developments in one of the council estates areas.

Sasha’s question in the shower kept playing in my head and made me a little nervous. It came out of nowhere and this kind of stuff always concerned me. Maybe she wanted to stop living on an impulse and needed to know what I wanted in the long run.

Now wasn’t the time to worry about it. I took an afternoon off, leaving Rob alone. I paid him enough and I didn’t want to listen to his nagging today. I headed to one of the best jewellery shops in the city. Women were smiling at me. There was no doubt that I looked good with a tan.

I took off my sunglasses and walked into the stylish boutique where I was planning to pick up a ring for Sasha.

A very tall, slim woman approached me wearing an elegant, expensive two-piece suit.

“Can I help you?” she asked with a wide smile.

“I need to pick out an engagement ring for my girlfriend. It needs to be special, of exquisite quality and unique,” I said with my sharp and demanding tone. She blushed, and a few other women in the store looked disappointed. Yeah, I was taken; they all had to get used to it. “It’s better if we do this in the back. I have money to spend, so you need to show me your most desirable pieces.”

The woman was nervous but tried to act professional. She showed me a few rings and I rejected them all. Sasha had to have a ring that wasn’t available anywhere else. We had a long discussion about some of the things that I wanted. She took notes, but I left disappointed and on edge again.

My plan wasn’t going how I wanted it to, and I drove to the complex thinking about the execution of it.

When I arrived, Sasha was sitting in the living room, changing channels on the TV. Maybe I was being paranoid, but yesterday there was something off about her, about the way she asked that question in the shower.

There was something bothering her, and that shouldn’t be the case, because we just got back from a relaxing holiday. Maybe we needed to have another getaway.