One More Chance novel Chapter 119

~~~I remember the days when you're here with me. Those laughters and tears we shared for years. Mem'ries that we had for so long, it's me and you. Now you're gone away, you left me all alone. Go on, do what you want, but please don't leave me you'll break my heart. Hey, what should I do, babe I'm missing you? Please don't disappear these are the words that you should hear~~~

-Rockstar-

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I don't know how long I have been crying silently on the terrace until I felt a soft pair of arm embraced me from behind and I don't have to ask who it was. I know it's Jack.

She didn't speak, nor uttered a single word. She just tightened her hug as I started to cry again. 

"Haist... when do you plan to stop crying?" She asked after a few minutes hugging me from behind. "My hands are getting numb, you know."

I couldn't help but chuckled as I wiped my tears.

"Finally!" She exclaimed, getting the other chair and sat down across my seat.

I looked at her, trying to smile but it turned out into sobs.

"Sam..." She took my hand that was resting on top of the table.

"Aren't you going to ask me what happened?" I asked her sniffing, but to my surprise, she shook her head.

"Nope, I don't have to because, judging from the amount of tears you shed and just by looking how miserable you are right now, I guess I already knew what happened."

I wiped my cheeks, pouting and fell into silence.

"So, what are your plans now?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Honestly, I'm confused and scared at the same time."

"You're confused---well, I kinda get it, but scared? What are you scared of?"

"Have you ever loved two people at the same time? Have you ever had to choose which of them you love more and leave the other? What if you make a wrong choice and in the end, you'll realize that the one you truly love is the one you didn't choose? Will you go back to the one you left or be forced to be happy with the person you chose?"

"Whoa!" She exclaimed in shock, repeatedly blinking her eyes. "I'm not sure what to say but---my answer to your first question is no. I haven't fallen in love yet, what more for two people at the same time---jeez!"

"Jack, I'm serious! I'm having a hard time deciding."

She stared at me but then chuckled after a while.

"Fine." She sighed. "But let me ask you first, what are you really afraid of, that you'll make a wrong choice? Decision? Why, does the feelings you have for them the same? If no, then why are you having a hard time?"

I don't know how long I fell into silence.

"You know what, I think you're no longer confused. Do you know what to call on what you feel right now? Guilty. You're being guilty of the situation and not confused, especially that you had to let go of David because of the feelings you still have for Luke."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm guilty and it's so hard to bear. I feel guilty so I'm having a hard time choosing and because I feel like what Luke did to me in the past, I'm doing it now to David."

"Hey, you're not like Luke and it's a different story!"

"No, it is, Jack. I never really moved on and I feel like I just used David to forget him. And you're right when you told me that I'm just being drawn away by the things that David was giving me, those things that Luke hadn't given me back then."

"If that so, then what stopping you from following your heart's desire?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Maybe I'm not yet ready."

"Well, if I happened to be in that situation, I think I won't choose either one of them."

"Huh? But why?" I frowned as I got confused by what she said.

"Hmm... I won't choose either one of them because this time, I would choose myself."