One More Chance novel Chapter 49

~~~I wish I could unsay the words I said, could unsee the videos in my head, could untie the knot and unhear the promises that you forgot. I wish I could unkiss your dirty mouth, could unfeel your skin and undrown the feelings and learn to swim. Unloving you is the hardest thing to do. Wish I could find a way to be unlove with you~~~

-Alex Aiono-

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I don't know how long I remained standing in my spot that night... crying, lost in thought and with a shattered heart. There seems to be nothing more painful than the last words he uttered. I felt like I was drowning not with tears but with the pain.

I remembered him walked towards the main door and left and I don't know where he spent the night at that moment... maybe with Cherry, his other woman, the love of his life, the woman he never forgot... I don't know.

I wanted to run after him. I wanted to call his name that night and ask him to stay, but I think I've lost all my strength. I suddenly lost the strength and courage to do it. I remembered the time when I first met him, I saw stars in his eyes and they shone brightly, but they were already shining in someone else's sky.

But guess what... I continued to watch him and even took the tallest ladder to get him, but now I realized that you can't catch the stars in the sky because it would no longer give light and it would no longer shine in your hands.

The thing that confused and scared me the most was that I don't know if it's the start of goodbye, to my dreams, to what we had and everything that seemed to connect us. But one thing is for sure, it's the start of every pain and every sleepless night.

Three days have passed that I've been trying to be strong and pretending to be alright in front of my daughter, but the time I was left alone, I instantly break down. It hurts so bad that I can't breathe and I don't know how to make it stop. Every time I think about them and the confession he made that night, I felt like I was losing my sanity.

They say the worst kind of love is when you want someone but you can't have them... and it happened to me several years ago until now.

* * * 

"Why don't you just let go?"

I looked at Jack, wiped my face and gave her a smile, a smile that doesn't even reach my eyes. We were on the porch, having our favorite coffee she had bought before visiting me.

I called her the next morning after Luke and I had our last conversation and I told her everything. Of course, she was fuming with anger and wanted to go back to the hotel. She suggested to file a complaint against my husband and his mistress, but I refused.

Well, it's not just because I love him, but I love my daughter. I don't want to see her cry and in pain when she happens to know I've sued her father. She's too young and won't understand that kind of thing.

"What do you mean by just let go?"

"Let go means let him go! Let him do what he wants with his mistress and in his life since you don't want to fight for your marriage and file a complaint against them! He's stupid enough to cheat and walk away, then be smart enough to let him go!"

"Jack, it's not that easy! I'm thinking about my daughter. How would she react when she finds out the truth?"

"I understand what you mean, but what's the point on holding onto someone who doesn't see your worth? Besides, sooner or later Cali will find out that her father never loved her mother and that he cheated on her, so it's better if you tell her right now."

"Jack---"

"I know what you're thinking, you're still holding on to this family and hope he changes his mind and comes back to you."

"Yeah, that's true! I admit I'm still hoping he would take back what he said and realizes that he also loves me."

"Tss! You're insane! Has the pain already numbed your head and ate your brain cells? 

"Can you blame me? As you said, I'm his wife, his legal wife, so I have every right when it comes to him. I will fight for him, Jack!"

"What?" 

I turned to her when she suddenly laughed at me, but I ignored her.