“Maisie, I’m sorry.”
Seeing the first line, Maisie almost didn’t have the courage to read on.
She set the letter aside, covered her mouth, and wept.
Robert could hear his mother’s sobs from outside. Not loud wailing, but muffled, quavering sobs.
In the end, his mother was still hung up over his father. If she could set him aside, maybe she’d be happier later on.
Robert didn’t want his mother to drown in the past.
After crying for an untold period of time, Maisie mustered the strength to read on.
Her eyes were immensely swollen, and her sobs from earlier had her body trembling.
But she’d already taken up the letter before her, and continued to read.
“I once thought that we’d live respectfully together, or become a pair of grudgeful people in our middle years, with you living your own days, and me mine. I was busy with business every day, and you were busy raising our children. It was a mild, boring life to me.
“I married you because I found you elegant and proper, and would make a good wife. Before I met that woman, I’d never loved anyone before. I never felt like I’d feel anything for any woman in this life. To be honest, before meeting her, I didn’t believe in love at first sight, so I felt like I could live the rest of my life with you.
“From since the time I grew up, I’d planned my life well. I thought that after I retired as I planned at fifty and let my son take over the family business, I’d travel the world as a drifter. But that was all my own imagination. I fell in love with that woman the moment I saw her, to the point of obsession.
“I know the things I’ve done are insane, and I know that doing this is letting you down and letting our son and daughter down. But I’d never wanted to live the life I wanted before. It’s the most selfish I’ve ever been in my life, and it resulted in you being hurt so badly. But I still left and decided never to come back, until Robert had his incident, and you had to find me anyway.
“You see, that’s how cold and selfish I am. If I had any pity or love or sympathy for you, I wouldn’t have made that decision. That was how cold I was to begin with. I’m not worth your entire life’s longing, or your entire life’s grudge, and I’m not worth staying in the Simpsons for. I’m planning on having someone give you this letter after my death. I think that if I said these things to you while I was alive, you’d only sneer at me, say I was looking for excuses, and mock me for being a hypocrite.
“But if you’re reading this letter, I must have already departed this world. I’m dead now. Go live your own life. Don’t waste your hate and your emotions on me. In the end, the one person I feel like I should be the sorriest for is our daughter. I didn’t know all that would have happened to her. You see? The person I’m sorriest for isn’t even you, but I still felt like I should apologize to you.
“Live the life you want from now on.”
The letter ended there, at a screeching halt.
Maisie rolled her wheelchair over to the window-side.
She suddenly recalled the year they’d gotten married, the man’s faint smile at her, and the vows they’d spoken before the priest.
It was fake. It had all been fake.
It was only her being so invested like a fool, believing that if she worked hard enough, treated him well enough, he’d look back at her eventually.
But it had just been her own longing.
Robert waited outside for a long time, and didn’t hear her sobs anymore, which worried him.
After a long while, the door opened, and Robert saw his mother wheeling herself outside.
“Are you all right, Mom?”
Robert asked concernedly, afraid his father had written something that could provoke his mother’s madness.
“I’ve got something I want to ask you. Are you planning on being together with Georgia for the rest of your life?”
Robert nodded silently. If he said any more, she might have gotten even angrier.
Maisie scoffed.
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