Iris
The amusement park is a riot of color and noise, familles milling about and the sounds of game machines whirring through the
air.
Miles is perched on top of Arthur’s shoulders high above the crowd, his face is split in the widest grin I’ve ever seen.
I can’t help but smile.
As we make our way through the crowd, Miles points out a stuffed shark that catches his eye. It’s hanging over one of those gimmicky game booths where you have to hit the targets to win a prize. The game itself is likely rigged, but Arthur doesn’t hesitate to hand the booth attendant a few bills and pick up the rubber ball.
Unsurprisingly, Arthur hits all of the targets in one go, winning Miles the stuffed shark. Miles clutches it to his chest, grinning
from ear to ear.
“Thank you, Daddy!” he beams.
My stomach turns over at the sound of that word–Daddy–but I keep my expression neutral. Once again, I’m reminded of the lie I told Miles the other day. It’s been nagging at me nonstop, keeping me awake at night.
Lying to him makes me feel like a horrible mother. Even more so when it seems as though he’s seen right through my lie, coming to his own conclusion that Arthur is, in fact, his father, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
We make our way through the park, stopping at various attractions and booths. Arthur spoils Miles rotten with treats, toys, and
laughter, never hesitating to pull out his wallet and try a new game or a decadent snack. And all the while, Miles is happy as can be, chattering nonstop about his new shark and which rides he wants to try.
For a little while, it feels like we’re a real family. It feels as if we’re almost making up for all of the years we spent apart, or better
yet, as if we were never apart at all.
And if I really try not to think about the hats covering our heads or the sunglasses hiding Arthur’s eyes from the public, I can
Imagine us having spent the last five years together, just like this, smiling and happy and doing all the things that a normal family would do.
But once again, the moment doesn’t last long. Because as we’re passing by a gift shop, a rack of magazines catches my eye–with one of them displaying a perfectly posed photograph of Arthur and Selina together.
“The Alpha President and his Luna,” the headline reads, cutting behind the perfect blonde locks cascading across Selina’s
shoulders. “Wedding Plans, Mansion Tour, and More!”
serene. Her teeth are perfectly straight and pearly white, and she’s wearing a blush pink dress that makes her look like a princess.
And what’s worse, she’s holding Arthur’s arm with her engagement ring on display.
Arthur, for his part, looks utterly stoic and handsome as hell in the image. His jawline is sharp, not a hint of stubble to be seen, not a hair out of place. His suit strains ever so slightly across his shoulders and biceps, just enough sex appeal to sell to the
masses, while portraying this polished, pristine family man.
for all the years he missed because he preferred her over what we could have had.
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