Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book novel Chapter 123

I wake up to the gnawing and strange aching sensation travelling across my belly and try to turn over to relieve whatever it is. Struggling now my bump is fully formed and weighing me down while Colton’s arm across me isn’t helping any. The room is completely dark and silent, so it must still be the middle of the night and his even, peaceful breathing signals he’s out cold.

I maneuver his forearm up over my boobs and manage to roll sideways away from him, so my butt is jutted against his groin to stop my stomach hanging over the edge of the mattress and get frustrated at my inability to move around like a normal human anymore.

I have reached that stage where I’m just begging them to come out quickly because I can’t take much more of this endless beached whale sensation. It has limited any kind of movement and being independent. I feel like my days consist of peeing multiple times, being eternally hungry, cranky and uncomfortable and burst into tears over the most insane things.

I still haven’t quite settled into sleeping in our new room over here in the valley either. New surroundings, new atmosphere and new bearings to get used to once again. It’s been three weeks after the renovations were done and yet, I still don’t feel like it’s home. I miss the homestead, where Sierra and Radar decided to stay and govern in our absence, now they are planning to produce pups and live happily ever after. In their cocoon bubble of love where life is rosy, and they want to raise siblings for Colton under the shadow of the now vampire free mountain.

The pack split and some stayed over there for the peaceful rural life they have nurtured, although a vast amount came home to be reunited with the valley wolves, and things have been slowly becoming normal. Rebuilding, fixing, bonding once more.

“Ahhhhh” I let out an involuntary groan as shooting stabbing pain rips across my lower pelvis and grip Colton’s arm so tight I almost pierce him with my nails. It’s bone achingly awful as pain goes and try as I might to bear down and grit my teeth I can’t hold it in.

“What is it? I’m up, I’m awake…. What’s going on?” Colton’s frantic scramble to upright, his eyes instantly amber as he scans the room for danger and realizes I am the one assaulting him as he relaxes back down. Pulling me to him in a protective hold.

“Pain.” I murmur, pushing the words out in a strangled breath, screwing my eyes shut and release his forearm from my grip to point downwards at my stomach with a jerky motion. It’s about all I am capable of doing.

“As in….. are you? Tonight?” Colton’s tone swiftly shifts from sleep addled and confused to panic ridden. His brain shifting into alert as he realizes what this could be.

“Hmmmm” is the only reply I can give as I try to deal with this cramping. It’s like having my periods, only amped up by fifty times the pain. And everywhere, not just my abdomen.

“Okay, okay… do you want to get up, lay different. Shall I go get the midwife? Do you need a massage, a hug, or something to grip?” Colton goes into nervous overdrive, spewing out every instruction he memorized from our birth lessons with the midwife the past couple of months. Suddenly awake and buzzing and ready for action.

“Shhhh” I raise my finger to my lips, screwing my eyes tighter and try and quieten him down while I bear this internal agony. Every single sense and urge in me is crying to turn wolf to help ease it but I know I can’t. I’m fighting that inner need to protect myself from something excruciating. Even though I’m in labor and the danger to them is probably no longer an issue now they are fully formed, I can’t risk it. I have to birth my pups in human form.

“I’ll link her. I’ll get her here fast.” He whispers it gently and starts patting my shoulder as I breathe through what feels like my insides twisting into knots, and then slowly subside very gradually until I can bear it again, before fading to a low ache. It goes form storm to gentle waves in minutes but for the one suffering, it felt like hours.

“It’s passing” I exhale heavily and my whole body begins to relax again, away from the tense wooden posture I was holding without realizing. Colton moves away from me and starts arranging the bed covers and places a cushion under my feet to get me into a comfortable position.

“If this is the start, then it’s going to be a long night, baby. They’re coming. I asked Meds and Carmen to come too as I know you want them both here. Tell me what you need.” Colton seems like he’s in control and on form as bossy Alpha, but I can feel his angsty tension radiating at epic levels and the slight tremor in his voice gives him away.

“It might come to nothing. They said we could have false starts.”

“Let’s just play this as if it’s real. No one will care about losing some sleep if it’s a false alarm. I’d rather be prepared and disappointed, than something going wrong.” He moves around the bed and tucks me in, feeling my forehead and pours me a glass of water on the bedside before turning the lamps on to dim. He creates a low cozy glow which barely casts away the shadows and I blink towards our wall of curtains.

“I want them open. I want to see the moon and stars while we wait.” I have no idea why, but I feel like it will keep me calm while waiting to see if this pain returns. There’s a myth of our kind that pups should be born under the moon to ensure a healthy start and whether a fable or not I am hoping seeing it will keep me calm.

Colton does as I ask, wanders to pull the expanse of dark velvet away from the rows of windows and exposes the blackest night. Stars twinkling high in the sky and a full moon to set the mood. The air is crystal clear, no clouds in the sky and it’s almost a perfect night for stargazing. The sky is as close to purest onyx as I have ever seen.

“Are we going to do this here? Or do you want to go to the infirmary?” Colton walks back to me and sits on the bed to stroke my hair.

“Here. If we can. If anything happens then make the decisions to ensure the safety of our babies.” We have had this conversation before and Colton looks away, frowning because it’s a topic he doesn’t like. I have told him multiple times that should anything go wrong, the babies come first. I won’t die, I know this. I have Colton with healing abilities and as soon as the babies are out, I can turn wolf and heal myself. I’m willing to take whatever pain or complications and push myself to near death just to get them safely out. He knows this and he agrees but he still doesn’t like it.

I don’t get another word out as another pain sears across my body, with a much stronger intensity than before, so fast considering it’s only been minutes since the last one. I gasp and crunch my body up to try and combat it but it’s like being side swiped by a bus.

“Breathe through it, pant like Marda showed you.” Colton’s hands are on me, but I try and blot out the world by closing my eyes and focusing on the agony that’s ripping me up inside. I didn’t know what I expected childbirth to feel like, but this wasn’t it. There’s nothing to describe how much it hurts.

“Should I tell my mom to make their way to the valley? Do you want them here? What about your dad? I have the contact number to have him travel here tonight.” Colton can only talk at me while stroking my hair, empathizing what he can see me experiencing. The pain of childbirth is one of the only pains that a mate doesn’t share. Wolves in labor need protection, so their mates are spared the bonded agony so they can watch over and help them through it. Nature at its finest, I guess.

“Hmmmmm, I don’t know” I roll and squirm in a bid to relieve the building pain and pressure. Disinterested in thinking, feeling anything around me and not really caring about who is here and not when all I can focus on is getting through each second of this.

“Your dad will never forgive me if he isn’t here for the birth. He has far to come.” Colton changes from stroking to kneading my shoulders and back and yanks the duvet away when he feels my body heating up.

“Do whatever you need to do, I just ….” I trail off unable to say anything else as the intensity ups and I hit the peak of the contraction. Murmuring and moaning as the worst pain I have ever felt in my life rips through me and I spasm involuntarily. All I can do is cling onto the edge of the mattress and grit my teeth, body rigid as I try to cope with it.

“I can ease it with magic…do you want me to try?” Colton’s tone is tight and forced, he sounds desperate at seeing me suffer.

“No, I don’t know if that will slow it down and hinder progress.”

“This is hell to watch and it’s only the beginning. Tell me what to do. How can I ease this? A bath… walking around? What about some kind of pain med from the midwife?” Colton’s stress levels grow and yet I honestly cannot do anything about it. I am so hyper focused on being trapped inside my own body with this horrible cramping and twisting. All I can do is breathe in short pants and try and remember everything they told me when preparing for birth. I have to remind myself that this is normal and I’m okay. I can do this.

“In through the nose, nice and slow, and out through the mouth. It can help reduce the pain.”