Rejected Mate and Following Fate novel Chapter 90

I missed the journey home, thankfully. Not by intention, but because my body just passed out on me without my having a say on the matter. I intended to lay on the bed near Carmen for a while, in case she needed to talk to someone, give her some support for something I’ve experienced too. Somehow sleep took over and the last memory I had was gazing at her lonely figure across from me. Last night’s tension, the camping out in the open air, and no real shut eye, all the emotional heaviness of the past few days just kicked my ass, and my maybe the growing lives inside of me too. The next thing I know I’m waking to subtle thuds on the truck walls and jump awake, startled by the rattle as though something is caving in through the roof over my head.

Carmen is sat up on the other bed, her knees pulled into her chest, looking like she too slept the whole time and didn’t switch places with Meadow to drive at any point. She seems to be staring blankly at the back window, her expression blank, her face pale from dried tears and showing nothing of any kind of emotion. I turn to, to follow her gaze and see the fog, thinned out across the glass, and containing the dark figures of wolves once again trying to get in with running jumps. I realize we’re back at the homestead already, the banging is the second wave of the wolves attacking our truck, so I slept for more than seven hours straight.

“Nothing’s changed here then.” I point out with a deflated tone, flinching with every new thud over us and Carmen silently shakes her head. All her energy and vigor is gone, and she just seems lifeless and empty. Her mood is like a dense smoke in itself and holds only sadness and melancholy. I wonder how many tears she shed before her emotional exhaustion knocked her out and can do nothing to console her.

I glance up towards the front and see that in my place the witch is parting the fog so Meadow can drive safely onto the dirt track, back to our main entrance and we’re almost there. Leyanne seems relaxed, Meadow too, as though the seven hours of chatting time has mellowed any mistrust between them. I wish I had stayed awake long enough to get to know more about this witch, but I guess it’s too late now.

A huge black form, so familiar it wounds me just seeing him so suddenly, jumps right in front of the truck in a bid to swerve us into a crash. I instinctively lift my hands, cutting passed the two figures seated before me and throw him aside in instinct, catching him before he hits the ground and carefully nestle him on the bushes, so Meadow doesn’t have to run over her alpha. I think hitting her mate was enough on the way out, I don’t want Colton being added to her guilt list. I try not to take anything from the moment, pushing down the biting pain and remind myself we have the witch, who soon will help me get him back. I have to cling onto hope, that my mate will be free to come home soon.

Leyanne glances back at me knowingly, shifting in her seat, and I see the smirk that she knows she just met my mate. That little eyebrow wiggle and ‘hmmmm’ which spells out ‘interesting’. I just don’t understand her at all. She is neither likeable, nor unlikeable. Somewhere between good and bad and I can’t decide if I trust or don’t. She gives off so many mixed signals but yet Sierra put so much faith in her.

“Home stretch, brace yourselves because I feel like they’re going to throw everything they can at us before we cross the rune line.” Meadow warns, snapping my gaze back from Leyanne and almost on cue the truck begins to shudder and wobble, and grind and groan, with revving effort as dozens of wolves fly and pile up on top of us. Try as we might, between the witch and I we can only keep sweeping them off for seconds at a time as though they somehow figured out how to cling on when they couldn’t before.

One last shudder as it feels like the groaning roof might come down on top of us, a slight buckling of metal as Carmen and I sit transfixed to it above and whoosh. Travelling into the fogless air, over the protection line, swipes off the ones over our head with a dramatic flurry of bodies flying backwards. We accelerate with a last lurch of speed, skid, and crunch into the gravel in the front of the house with a noisy halt that sends us all falling forward to brace ourselves. We are only minutes before sunset and the timing couldn’t be any closer. I shudder when I think of the difference if we had more of Darrius’ kind here, daylight walkers who seem way more capable than the brain-dead fanged freaks of our mountain.

“Home sweet home.” Carmen mumbles and kicks off the blanket she was cradling to her stomach before jumping down to her feet and casting me a bank look. “You should eat right away… you haven’t at all, and you have more than you to keep fed.” it’s a stern telling off, delivered in her usual haughty tone but somehow, I’m getting used to her manner. I see the care behind the words and my whole face softens at her scrutiny. The icy coldness, the blunt often rude way she has of letting words fall out of her mouth. She’s a hard ass. No softness at all and that’s what tells me that underneath that prickly shell, Carmen might actually be even softer than Meadow. She just doesn’t have anyone to give it to, or trust enough to show it. It’s a way of shielding herself and acting like she cares about no one. She can’t be hurt by people if she doesn’t give anyone the opportunity to get close enough to try.

Jasper would have been that chance to nurture the hints of love I see glimpses of in her, and now, I have no idea what the hell is going to happen there. I’m angry at him, disappointed in what he did and her standing here before me, I want to beat my stupid brother in the face. Even if I am overjoyed and still in shock that he’s even still alive.

“I need to see Sierra first and then ..” I start to explain and follow her to the front to get out, but Meadow cuts me off.

“No, she’s right. Go to the kitchens and eat. I’ll take Leyanne to Sierra, and Carmen can make sure you get food first. Luna, you’re home. Your priority right now is giving your unborn what they need. Let us manage things for you.” It’s her ‘I’m in charge’ bossy tone that likes to pop up when she thinks Colton would want her to take over for me. I can’t fault her love.

I know arguing is futile and I’m weak and a little dizzy with lack of nourishment from the journey as it is. I haven’t eaten since yesterday, since before we found Leyanne and were eating while we drove. I hadn’t thought about it before and guilt flushes through me as I realize how careless it is. I have to be more responsible of the children in my body.

I follow Carmen without further protest and we’re immediately swarmed by pack sentinels who saw our arrival or were summoned by Meds. They start unloading the truck and greeting our return with submissive nods and uttering ‘Luna’ under their breaths. A huge sense of relief in the air around me as tense guards relax at finally laying eyes on us back home. I can taste the agony my departure caused, and I am weighed down with another layer of remorse that I abandoned them. Despite the emotions, nothing is amiss in any of them, or our surroundings, and it looks like our absence didn’t cause much upheaval to the pack at all. Nothing has happened since we left.

It feels good to be home but standing in the almost darkness and staring at that imposing fog, knowing Colton isn’t inside to greet me. To shower me with his love and hugs, that I need more than air. He’s out there, watching and waiting for his chance to wound me instead, and it dampens my joy down completely. Heart tearing with the return to real, eyes misting that we are so close yet still so far in terms of bringing them out of the fog.

Instinct pulls me to the nearest wall of mist, and I get close enough to the tree line that I can see out through the forest at where the fog physically meets the boundary. Straining to see as Carmen hangs back, sensing I need a moment.

“Colton…. If you can hear me…. You have more than me to fight for now, don’t give up. We’re working on it. I love you and I miss you.” its loud enough that my voice travels on the wind and yet quiet enough and directed away from the house to not echo around the drive. Only Carmen will have caught it and she remains silent and at a distance, giving me some space and showing respect.