Lorey, what in the hell is going on?
Colton walks to me in the open hall space and closes the gap between us, pulling me to him and focusing fully back on me. Finally looking for answers now he’s done what was needed and I catch sight of Meadow and Cesar turning human and embracing several feet behind him. My heart happy with the sight of her, okay, and reunited with her mate. My heart swells to bursting and I can finally feel at peace, feeling that my pack are all intact and safe. My gut confirming it.
Colton pulls me to him as he stays in wolf, linking me mentally and cradles my face in his hand, careful not to hurt me with his claws. Being so gentle it just breaks down my last defenses and despite his filthiness, I curl against him and hold on tight. Embracing one another for a moment, feeling the high rate of his wolf heart and the excessive heat coming from this mountain of a body. He pulls me backwards to look at him and I just gaze adoringly, drinking him in, aching all over with the disbelief that we did it and he’s here. This seems like a dream and I bask in the happiness of his touch, never wanting this feeling to be lost to me again. Even in wolf form, I love him so much.
I know the only way to get him up to speed and stop questioning is the one way he’s going hate himself for seeing, but I can’t put it all into words. And I know the quickest way to get out of this hellhole and leave, is to explain and go home. Already wolves are evacuating from every tunnel and clearing the space around us in a bid to leave behind the mess we made here.
Colton notices his mom and his obvious shock startles her. She smiles and shrugs then darts off towards Carmen’s side as though to avoid being scolded by her own son, and he turns back to me, locking amber eyes on my green and I sigh, knowing it’s the only way.
Meadow throws me a look and then gestures Carmen and Sierra to her side, pulling them with her and towards the narrow walkway and gesturing Leyanne too. I think she knows I need Colton alone for a moment because he’s not going to take this well at all. There’s so much I know he will explode over, and so much he will feel is all his fault. I’m expecting him to react in a million ways all at once.
I sigh, swallow nervously because I don’t want any of this to hurt him, locking my eyes on amber fire in black fur and smile softly. I rub my fingers through the softest patch on his chest before sliding up with a stretch, despite his crouching, to meet that huge head and bypass terrifying teeth in his impressive jaw. One arm sliding halfway around that neck, so I struggle to meet his height, but he leans further and kneels down to me. I can tell he’s too riled to turn human and that’s why he hasn’t turned. He needs to be calmer, to let the best let go.
I lift my fingers to his temple, finding the magic spot and brace myself for what’s to come. My nerves sizzling in anticipation and my heart stands pounding against my ribcage again. Blood running cold and I swallow loudly.
I close my eyes; focus on the section of time he missed and transfer the memories as quickly as I can so it will pain me less about doing it. Fromm the second we parted after Tawna’s death, until now, and hold my breath knowing that little revelation in there, standing out among all the rest, will be the one which I want the reaction for the most.
It takes only a few long seconds before he finally leans away, and I break the contact and stare at him to watch as it all registers on his face. Letting go of him to stop myself stretching so much and lean back on my own feet to give him a moment. It seems the shock of learning, kills his wolf fury in one swoop as he transforms and shrinks to an impressively tall human form. His amber eyes fade to brown, his face back to what I love most, and his eyes are rooted on my face in utter disbelief. His posture stuff and he doesn’t say anything, just stares at me with confusion and pain etched all over him.
I can almost decipher which memory is being churned over by the expression of shock, regret, guilt, anger, shock again, and then a soft disbelief and an open gasp before his face crumbles back to devastated regret. A million emotions in one fast change and it’s like I experienced this whole week all over again just by feeling him.
“I……. we’re…. you…” he’s too overcome to form words and clutches my hand tightly, pulling it first to his cheek then to his lips before hauling me into his arms and squeezing me half to death. It’s an instinctive reaction born of shock, guilt and maybe a little surprise. His emotions are all over the place and tinge mine too, and I start to mist over with the intensity of so much all at once. It’s heavy, yet dizzying, sore, yet happy. He’s clawing for sanity and seems to be growing through the thoughts all over again to see it all to be sure.
“We need to get the pack home and talk… all of us. This isn’t the place.” I utter softly, caressing his cheek and inhaling him to drown out the smell of what’s around us. I can sense his indecision, his lull of logical thought as he swallows this all down. Colton’s trying to process but he’s unable to when it’s so much all at once and all he; s doing is clinging to me like I might implode if he let’s go. His breathing heavy by my air and as much as I could stay this way forever after yearning for him for endless days, I really don’t want to stay here.
Colton continues to hold onto me, silent and pondering before he scoops me into his arms like a bride and starts carrying me towards the path that leads up and out into the woods. His face says it all, that blank expression yet it doesn’t shield the war in his eyes and his lack of verbal response means he just can’t right now.
I know my mate too well and his guilt will be taking hold over everything else, even the news that I want him to acknowledge. That we’re pregnant, yet I know not to be hurt by him saying nothing. I can see it in his face, feel it seeping from him. My boy’s in shock and his instinct to take me home where it’s warm and safe is overriding everything else.
I curl up against him, sliding my arms around his neck and pull myself up to his jaw to inhale him and cuddle in. He’s stiff, solemn faced and giving out all kinds of weird vibes as he processes the memories, I gave him. Set on a goal – getting us out of here as we follow the last signs of our pack mates. He’s closing me out to save me from being emotionally ambushed and I don’t like it at all. The ebbing away as he closes back our link and doing what Colton does when he wants to protect me from his pain, his suffering. He cuts the bond as much as he can and tries to bear it alone.
“Say something” I nudge and tense when his jaw twitches. I expected some kind of outward verbal of some kind and not thins weird silent thing he’s doing. It’s unnerving me that he isn’t reacting in quite the way I expected.
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