Rejected Mate's Redemption (Freda and James) novel Chapter 127

Chapter 127
KAIDEN STIRLING
“I try to hate you. Sometimes, I’m able to. Other times, I can’t,” she said and I was filled with surprise. Why was she telling me this? She was not supposed to be telling me this. That only further proved how drunk she was. I was worried about the quantity of alcohol she had consumed for her to be this drunk. Had she been drinking with that human male? Why on earth had he let her drink so much?
An acidic wave of jealousy flooded my stomach and I immediately started to feel sick.
“Focus on me, Kaiden. Just this once. Don’t get lost in thoughts while I’m here,” she said in a pleading tone and I was not sure why her words hurt me so much. It was either the fact that she said ‘just this once’ or the way she was begging for me, like a part of her knew I was not going to answer her.
I looked at her. “You’re drunk, Freda. Stop talking,” I told her, smoothing her hair back. I did not want her telling me things that would make her way to avoid me. The things she was saying were things I knew she would have liked to keep buried in the deepest parts of her.
“I’m not drunk,” she said and moved in closer to me. My breathing picked up and my heart went crazy in my chest. “F- Freda…” I said through a slow breath. She smiled at me, as though she knew the effect she had on me, the power she had over me, over my d**d soul.
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I cleared my throat, and she watched as my throat bobbed from my swallowing. “What would you do if I asked you to kiss me?” She asked, looking into my eyes like she did not want to miss a single emotion that would go through me. I didn’t think she would be able to read whatever she saw because my emotions were all over the da**n place… Haywire.
“Freda, stop,” I said through a breath. “Why?” She asked, a challenging look in her eyes. It was no longer the softness of her walls being let down because she was drunk and half- asleep. It was something fiery.
“You’re suddenly honorable? I’m some drunk damsel in distress and you don’t want to take advantage of me?” She questioned. Her words both hurt and surprised me.
I should not have been surprised though. She was trying to hate me, and the words she was speaking were proof of that. I started to nack away from her. I needed to leave before something we would both hate ourselves for would happen.
She grabbed my hand in a soft grip, compared to the look in her eyes. “Let go, Freda,” I said. She shook her head.
“I hit a little too close to home, didn’t I?” She asked and I watched her silently. “It upsets you that I’m no longer that naive girl you always took advantage of, the one you lured to your bed. The one you hurt countless times,” she said and tears filled her eyes.
F**g hell.
“Stop, I need to go,” said, not answering any of her hurtful words. “Stay,” she said. Her voice was broken and she was sobbing. I stared at her, conflicted and confused. “What do you
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want me to do, Freda? Your words sound like you want me to leave but you’re asking me to stay,” I whispered, fighting tears of my own.
“I’m sorry. I… I just want to hurt you,” she cried and I shook my head, pulling her close to me, despite the urge to leave the bed. “I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head and wrapped my arms around her the best I could. She was warm and her shoulders were shaking from her hard sobs. My heart was breaking to pieces. “You can say whatever you feel you need to say, Freda. I deserve it,” I whispered in her ear and she cried some more before she was able to gather herself together.
“You don’t deserve it. No one deserves that,” she said, pulling back to look at me. “You know I do, Freda,” I said with a small smile.
“We shouldn’t be here,” she said, pressing her head against my chest. I was embarrassed by how hard and how fast my heart was beating because of how close she was.
“I know,” I said with a weary sigh, worried that she would ask me to go away.
“You have a wife… Who is my sister. This is wrong,” she whispered. “I know,” I said, kissing her forehead.
“I rejected you. I can’t come back,” she whispered again and my heart broke. I said nothing because I could not confirm that.
I stayed silent, listening to her heartbeats and she said nothing too. Her breaths calmed and took a steady rhythm, telling me she had fallen asleep.
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