Rejected Mate's Redemption (Freda and James) novel Chapter 23

Chapter 23
FREDA WHITLOCK
I froze in the spot I stood with tears running down my face.
I did not even know that Lyra had been going through so much. I had not considered it. Some part of me had assumed that she was invincible, she was untouchable, she was the strong best friend who would always be there for me. I was the main character and she was the supporting side character.
I was disgusted with myself. How could I have been so s**d? How could I have been so selfish, so self-absorbed? How could I not have seen all the pain she had been going through? How?
Just how?
Her arms were crossed in front of her. Her bottom lip was in between her teeth and her eyes were closed as she sniffled. She looked almost… Tormented.
And it killed me. It wounded me so much.
“I’m sorry, Lyra,” I pleaded, taking a step towards her. She shook her head but said nothing. She didn’t recoil from me so I took that as a positive sign. I took hold of her hands and she looked into my eyes with her sad blue ones that still managed to be beautiful despite the pain in them.
“I’m human too, Freda,” she whispered. “I feel pain too. I feel fear and it’s consuming me right now. Pops is dying, and you’re leaving. I’ll be alone again,” she sobbed, attempting to take her
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hands away from me.
I held onto her hands firmly. Realization hit me. I was not the only one that was scared. Everyone was scared of one thing or the other. The only reason people were able to live on was because they powered through the fear. They pushed it down when they needed to, faced it when they needed to and let it consume them at their weaknesses.
My whole life, I had been letting fear consume me. I had been letting it control me. Fear of displeasing Kaiden, fear of losing Safiya, fear of what people would say, and now fear of losing Francisco.
I had always been a coward. It was a horrible life to live. A horrible, horrible life.
“I’ve been a coward,” I finally admitted the words out loud. “I have had the habit of running from my problems since I remember… And when I ran away, I did not think about how you or dad or anyone would. I’m sorry I will always be sorry. For the horrible person I am and the horrible thing I have done.”
“And now I’m scared again. Of losing Francisco. I can’t let anything happen to him Lyra,” I explained the reason for my cowardice to her. I did not expect her to forgive me right away. It did not expect her to understand.
But now that I had seen things from her perspective and not just mine, I had another reason to be stronger. For the family, I had aside Francisco. For Lyra. For my father.
And then I decided. No matter how scared I got, no matter how bad things got, no matter how horrible my situation would ever be, I was done running away. I had people that needed it. I had a
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friend I needed to be there for. They had been there for me. Why was it so bad for me to be there for them?
“I’m done running away,” I whispered. “Please forgive me for always running away. Forgive me for being a selfish coward,” I pleaded and she shook her head at those words. “Don’t call yourself that,” she protested and pressed my lips together before I spoke again.
“We are going to get through this together. You, me, dad and Francisco. Dad will be happy…” I said. “And we’ll find your mate and ask him what took him so long,” I said and winked and she laughed softly, pulling me into a warm hug.
“I love you, Freda,” she whispered in my hair as we held each other. “I love you more, sis,” I replied, glad that the whole thing was over. I was glad that we had finally been able to clear the air and I was glad I had been able to learn what I had learnt about Lyra.
I was staying. I was going to stay this time, no matter what anyone thought about it and no matter what anyone did.
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The last time I had tried to make waffles, I had been in the process of mixing the batter when Lyra came in and took over from me. This time, I was going to finish it.
She was helping Francisco brush his teeth and have a bath. He had been true to his promise. He had not run a bath for himself since that day and when I asked him about it, he had claimed that he did not want to hurt me.
I smiled for the rest of the day after he told me that.
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I heard the doorbell ring and I wondered who it was. I could only hope that the person was not coming in. I had run out of clothes. and between keeping up with dad and monitoring Dadncisco. and his adjustment to the new environment, I had not been able. to do my laundry.
Or it very well could have been because Lyra hated absolutely nothing more than doing laundry.
I smiled at the thought. I was going to have to go back to the apartment Francisco and I had initially stayed in before Dad moved here. We Dad barely stayed there for two days before we started staying here.
It had been a full week since we arrived at Brookback County. The first few days had been draining, and filled with emotional moments that threatened to take the life force from me, but I had been able to cope and I had pushed through to the past few days that had been peaceful.
Well… Until now.
“The least you could have done was give us a heads-up,” I heard Lyra protest from the front door and immediately knew this was not going to be very fun.