Secrets of Us A Forbidden Love Romance (Alina) novel Chapter 173

Because of You

I don’t know how much time passes, but I know it’s hours. The sun shifts through the window and I twist to lie on my back.

There’s a lump in my throat, everything inside of me struggling to come out.

I sigh, and Zaid looks down at me, his fingers trailing down my arms. “Do you want to talk

about it?”

I swallow. “I’m not pregnant.”

He frowns at that, breathing slowly to prepare himself. “Did you want to be?”

I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so.”

His fingers draw circles on my skin. “It makes you sad?”

I sigh. “She told me I could’ve been pregnant at one point. Something about my

hormones or something.”

He pulls slightly away, looking down at me, eyes searching mine. “Love.”

I don’t want his pity, I just wanted someone to know, someone to be in the darkness with me. “I don’t know how to feel about it.” me.

He closes in on me, his hands finding their way under my shirt and around my waist. My stomach twists and I push at his chest. “Zaid, not know, I don’t want to-”

“Fuck, Alina. I’m not trying to have sex with you.”

I look up at him, new tears streaming down my cheeks. He looks pained, hurt, surprised

that I would assume that.

“I just want to hold you.”

My skin breaks out into goosebumps, and I press into him. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“Don’t apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for. I can’t even imagine. I’m the one that’s sorry.”

1/4

Because of You

I shake my head. “I just, I feel stupid that it bothers me.”

“Why?”

“I wasn’t really pregnant. I didn’t want to be. And now I feel guilty.”

His hold on me tightens.

“It would have made everything more complicated. It kind of scared me.” The confession slides out of me smoothly. All the gnawing and worrying finally felt like it softened.

“You have nothing to be scared about. I’ll be here, always,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I blink at that.

He clears his throat, chest rising with his next words. “I know it was impossible for the baby to have been mine, but I would have taken care of her as if she were.”

A sob tears through me, “Her?”

He ́shrugs, “You feel like a girl mom to me.”

I struggle to breathe.

“I would have loved her so much. Regardless.”

I try to keep my heart in check. “Well, she would have been either your sister or your

niece, so that makes sense.”

I chuckle, trying to make that part of the conversation much less awkward.

“Because I love you.”

My heart pounds so hard I feel sick. I can’t do this. I can’t hear this. I can’t even think about this.

I shake my head, the walls closing in. “I can’t.”

His brows furrow, but I don’t let him speak. I press my palm to my chest like I can physically hold myself together, because inside, I’m falling apart.

My family was ripped from me. I loved them, and they were stolen from me. I can’t love someone and lose them again.

Zaid just watches me as I explode inside. His eyes dark and steady, his jaw tense like he’s biting back a thousand things he wants to say. Then, in a voice raw with emotion, he murmurs, “I don’t need you to say it back. I don’t need you to do anything. I just needed you to know that you are loved. Deeply, Alina. By me.”

I glare at him, something sharp and painful twisting in my gut. “You can’t say that.”

He doesn’t react, just keeps watching me.

“That’s bullshit.”

Zaid flinches like I struck him.