Secrets of Us A Forbidden Love Romance (Alina) novel Chapter 230

Secrets of Us: A Forbidden Love Romance

Not Fixed

Zaid and I stay in the living room longer than we probably should, sitting in the quiet of everything that’s happened. The house feels heavier now and part of me feels like I’ve ruined everything.

His arm is draped along the back of the couch behind me, his thigh brushing mine. My heart races as I focus on that small touch. It might seem so insignificant, but it’s like food

to a starving man.

We sit in silence, neither of us saying anything, but I don’t complain. The silence is needed and his presence is enough.

Eventually, I sit up straighter, wiping my face with the sleeve of my shirt. “I’m gonna head up to bed.”

Zaid shifts beside me. “Are you gonna be okay?”

I nod, offering a faint smile. “I’ll deal with it.”

It’s the only honest answer I have. I lean in and press a kiss to his cheek, my lips brushing his skin for just a second too long.

“Thank you for sitting here with me.”

His eyes trace the side of my face. “I feel like we need a do over for our birthday.”

That makes me smile for real. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

I try to get up, but his fingers curl gently around my wrist, stopping me.

He takes a breath like he’s about to say something difficult. “I’m here for you, love.”

My heart stutters. I meet his eyes, and all I see there is sincerity. There’s no expectation, just him.

I nod, placing my hand lightly over his before managing to slip away. “I know.”

I head upstairs, into the quiet of my room. The door clicks shut behind me, and I half expect the weight of it all to crash over me, but it doesn’t,

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Not Fixed

I crawl into bed, and I sigh. The sheets are cool against my skin.

I wait for the tears, but they never come. I’m not heartbroken. I’m not even angry. Just

sad.

Jake’s reaction replays in my mind. The way he yelled. The way his voice cracked. The look in his eyes when he walked out.

I didn’t know he could be that angry.

And even though I understand why, the guilt in me settles like a stone in my stomach.

Eventually, sleep finds me. It’s restless and shallow and full of blurry dreams I can’t hold

on to. I wake up tired. The sky is still gray blue and my body moves before my mind

catches up.

I’m out of bed, down the hall, then down the stairs. The house is still and quiet.

I sit at the kitchen island with my journal, flipping past pages already inked with my

rands and my feelings of chaos and hope. I click my pen and start writing, unloading

every thought onto the page.

I recount everything about Jake, about Elena, about Zaid. About the way I don’t quite

recognize myself sometimes, but I think maybe that’s okay.

When I finish, I stretch, close the journal, and head toward the coffee machine. The smell of fresh grounds calms me before the first drip even hits the carafe.

My phone buzzes on the counter, and I glance down.

Aiden.

A smile breaks across my face, and I answer. “Hey!”

“Happy birthday, baby,” he says, a little breathless. “Sorry I didn’t call yesterday. Practice ran late, and then we had a special training session for those of us looking to impress colleges, Coach made us do this team dinner thing and…‘

I laugh softly, “Aiden, it’s okay. Your voice message was enough.”

We talk for a while. I tell him about Elena and my therapy, like I always do. He listens,

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“Morning.” I smile at him, taking in the expanse of his chest.