107 Letting Go
Sebastian’s POV
I got into a fight with Adrian.
I saw Scar with Adrian in the parking lot talking, happily. I could have gone and given her the files. It has been in my car where I basically live these days. I didn’t. I wasn’t in a hurry to cut the only connection
between me and Scar.
I followed their car, not sure what I wanted out of it. Another talk after
Adrian sends her home? What could another conversation do? Everything I do right now only pushes her further away. But I followed them like a lost kid.
Adrian the jerk soon spotted me and lost me in the traffic. He was a racer, the one thing I could never win him with.
When I caught up with him, Scar already went to see Ava. I admit, I was upset. Ava wasn’t in any urgent need, and he shouldn’t have let her go. Jack Fuller doesn’t care whether Ava needs it. He would drain Scar no
matter what.
His daughter’s illness planted a hunger for Scar’s blood deeply in him.
I demanded why he let Scar do that and he punched me, shouting something about I didn’t have the right to ask him that.
His punch doesn’t hurt as much as the fact that Sear trusted him with her secret.
She doesn’t like pity, so she never mentions to people about any of this.
But she trusted him with him. Him. A man she had barely met a handful of times. And she showed him her deepest, darkest scars that she doesn’t even show me. She has never complained to me about feeling like a blood vessel before. I thought she didn’t like Ava so she would
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107 Letting
make a fuss about it, but that was all
I didn’t know she felt trapped and used, like object.
I guess it’s because she did all that for me. She thought she was earning a chance from me, and I totally tricked her.
I should let her go. I want to amend all the harm I have done her, but if leaving is what she wants, then…I should let her go.
I sit in my car, the files that end the period of my life that has Scar in it, and I just realize it’s almost my whole life. I have known her my whole life. She never confessed her feelings for me, but I knew about it way before she brought that deal to me. If I were not sensitive to her admiring stares in middle school, I definitely understood her hurtful look in the next three years whenever I was with Ava.
I knew of her feelings, and I ignored them as “rightful punishment“, for her trying to get attention in the wrong way….
I close my eyes as if not seeing myself would ease the shameful guilt, but no. The guilt and shame were still there, gnawing my heart.
I watched Scar coming out to Adrian, and I watched them driving off. Part of me wanted to give them my blessing. I might not see eye to eye with Adrian on a lot of things, but he does love Scar. He jumped after her on that abandoned building, and he would have fallen with her if we didn’t collide into each other.
But part of me wanted to run him off the road and take Scar back into my car. Anything to keep her mine.
She was mine. So easily and so determinedly mine. She loved me with such passionate that I don’t know how to land without it. How is that fair?!
In the end, I followed them to the airport. I don’t believe Adrian could give up his empire he fought his whole life for and just up and leave
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with her. But I can. The moment she leaves by herself, then it’s my chance.
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