I was eight months pregnant. Hayden had been in a coma for six months. I refused to pull the plug on him. My dad made sure that they wouldn't pull the plug on him. When I reached my due date, I was still pregnant. My dad came back for the birth, but it didn't happen.
"Are you sure that I'm nine months?" I asked my OBGYN. She nodded.
"I'm positive. You're baby is just late. We can induce labor," she suggested. I shook my head.
"No. If she's not ready, I don't want to force her," I said.
"Are you sure?" Luca asked me. He still went to my doctor's appointments with me because I didn't want to go by myself. I nodded.
"Let her comes when she wants," I said. "I'm only a few days late anyway. I'm going to go see Hayden," I said. I saw Luca's face twitch slightly as he tried to keep the look of disappointment and guilt off of his face. I ignored it as the doctor wiped the gel off of my stomach. I got a picture of my baby before I went to the hospital to see Hayden. I went in alone. I just talked to him.
"Hayden, our baby is going to come any day now; our little girl. I want you to be there with me in the delivery room... please wake up," I said softly. His heart monitor started beeping erratically. Doctors and nurses rushed in with machines and medicines. They pushed me aside and started working on him.
"What's happening?" I asked, scared.
"His heart is failing, we need to move now. Get her out of here," a doctor barked orders. He continued barking orders to nurses and other doctors as I was led out of the room. I looked in through the window as tears streaked my face. Heart failure? I thought he was stable. None of this was making any sense. Suddenly everything was moving slowly. As I peered into the window, I found myself screaming and banging my fists against the glass. This couldn't be happening. I prayed that this wasn't happening. I hoped that any minute now I would wake up to realize that this was all just a terrible nightmare. But it didn't happen... I never woke up. The doctors did all they could, but it wasn't good enough.
5:07 PM...that was the time of death recorded for Hayden Grayson McCormick. That was the time that a piece of my heart died. I watched as they stopped working on him. They rolled the machines out and closed the curtains, blocking my view of them bagging him. I screamed and fussed and kicked. I went into full blown hysteria. I felt arms go around me, trying to calm me down. I was still sobbing uncontrollably but I'd stopped screaming. I crumbled. My heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest. And the fact that I moved like that with a beyond pregnant belly was a mystery. My knees wobbled and I slid to the floor. Luca went with me.
"Jordyn," I heard Luca sigh. This couldn't be happening. I needed to wake up. I clung to Luca's arm as I cried. He pushed my hair away from my face and shushed me.
"He can't be gone... he just can't," I sobbed. I refused to open my eyes. I kept them shut, still hoping I was dreaming. Luca held me tightly and pushed my hair back.
"Jo, I know you don't want to hear it right now, but you'll be okay. You and your little girl will be okay," Luca said softly. I didn't want to hear it. I just sobbed and cried right there in the hallway until I passed out.
I woke up in my bed at Luca's house. I sat up and pushed my hair out of my face. Hayden... Hayden was the first thing on my mind. I eased my body back down to the bed. I wish I could've curled up in the fetal position, but I was already carrying someone who was doing that. I put a hand on my stomach when I felt a kick. Since my baby was full term, her kicks really paced a punch. I let out a breath and closed my eyes. It hurt. She kicked again and again. I let out a little yelp and started pacing to calm her down. There was a light knock on my door before Jason came in.
"Are you okay, Jo?" he asked. I sighed and shook my head.
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