The Accidental Wife (Emily and Julian) novel Chapter 123

Chapter 123
I stayed at the hospital for three days. They needed to make sure that I was okay. Silas didn’t leave me during those three days except when the nurses told him to do so at night.
I admit, I’m enjoying his company, but I don’t feel anything towards him. Yes, I’m more than grateful for his help, but shouldn’t I feel love for him? The kind of love that would make me want to throw myself in his embrace the moment I see him. The kind of love that would make me long for his kiss. I caught myself one time thinking about how his lips tasted against mine, but it was mere curiosity.
He has been very considerate with me. Yes, he hugs me, holds my hand and kisses my cheek, but not once has he tried to kiss me. Is he waiting for me to give him the green light? Am I supposed to make the first move or ask him to kiss me?
“You remember me, right?” Lily asks me with fear in her voice when I walk inside our home.
“Of course I do, Lily,” I tell her. “Aren’t you going to give me a hug?” She practically runs towards me when I say that. I wince when she bumps into me, and she quickly apologizes.
Mum and Dad didn’t bring Lily and Holden to the hospital because the whole family has been trying to keep a low profile ever since the accident took place. There were a lot of reporters in front of the hospital this morning. I was not sure how they learned that I was leaving, but Mum told me they had been coming on a daily basis, trying to catch any photos for the family.
My right ankle is fractured, so my leg is in a cast. With the help of my dad, I walk to the living room. I take a seat on the couch and stretch my legs. Silas was with me this morning when I left the hospital, but he said that he needed to go pick his sister up
because she wanted to see me.
I’m still not used to being around him all the time. I’m not sure if whatever I’m feeling is some sort of discomfort or if this all just seems foreign to me because my mind cannot accept that we’re now dating, but I think I need my distance. The thing is, I don’t know how to tell him that without hurting him. He has been absolutely considerate and nice to me, so causing him the least amount of pain is the last thing I want to do.
“Here you go.” Kendall hands me a glass of strawberry juice before taking a seat beside me. “You’ve got a lot on your mind, she says, looking at me.
“Can you blame me?” I inhale. “I’m perplexed and… I hate how I feel that there’s a big chunk of my life missing.”
“That’s understandable. You don’t have to feel bad because you feel like that. I can help you out with anything you want,” she tells me.
“Rosie!” I hear my brother’s voice calling my name the second he steps inside the house. I know that he had soccer practice. That’s why he wasn’t home when I first arrived.
“Hey buddy,” I say with a smile, handing my juice to Kendall before hugging Holden.
“I was so worried about you,” he says, making my heart tingle. “You’re okay now, right?”
“I’m all right, Holden. My memory is just a little bit fuzzy, but I’m sure that I’m going to get it back,” I tell him. I’m not sure if I’m going to get my memory back or not, but I want to assure my brother that there’s nothing to worry about. I cannot push away the doctor’s words about the possibility of not getting back my memory
“What can’t you remember?” he wonders. “You can remember us, right?”
“Of course, I can remember you, but I cannot remember the last two years,” I explain.
“We can make you a notebook of everything we remember about the last couple of years and give it to you to read. Maybe this can help you out,” Lily suggests when she joins us. Her words bring a smile to my face. I love how considerate my siblings are.
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Chapter 123
“Thank you, Lil. I think that would be great,” I tell her. I love the look of encouragement she has in her eyes.
My siblings decide to leave me with my best friend for a while. There are a lot of questions I want to ask her, but I don’t
know which ones to start with!
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“Silas told me that I now have lots of friends at college. He even showed me pictures. Am I friends with a lot of people now?” I ask her. I have never been surrounded by a huge group of friends.
“Yes, when he introduced you to the team, you became friends with some of them and their girlfriends too. You also have a friend called Sabrina. She has the same major as you. There’s another friend who is called Everest. Silas is not too fond of him though.”
“Why isn’t Silas fond of him?” I frown as I inquire about that guy I don’t remember anything about.
“Silas has always thought that Everest has feelings for you,” my best friend fills me in. Was my college life dramatic? I have a feeling that many exciting events took place and I’m really irritated that I can’t remember anything. I really wish all of this is temporary. I hate not being in the know.
As we’re talking, the doorbell rings and the maid goes to open the door. “Where’s Rosie?” I hear Aniyah’s voice.
“I’m here!” I call out. I hear her running towards me before I get to see her. My mouth curls into a huge smile when I see the balloons she’s holding and the chocolate basket. “Oh my God, Aniyah. This is so thoughtful of you!” I exclaim, opening my arms for the young girl.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she murmurs as she holds onto me.
Thank you,” I say, gently caressing her hair. “Holden and Lily are upstairs. Do you want to join them?” I ask and she nods.
“Hello, cupcake,” Silas says as he wraps one arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. Why isn’t he kissing me on the lips?
“All right. I’m going to leave you to catch up. I will pass by tomorrow,” Kendall says, standing up. After giving me a quick hug and saying goodbye to Silas, she leaves.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, sitting down beside me.
“Why haven’t you kissed me?” I blurt. He looks taken aback by what I’ve just said, but I want to know why he hasn’t done it yet. What’s stopping him from kissing me? Aren’t I his girlfriend? Shouldn’t he want to kiss me?
“I want to kiss you more than anything, Rosie, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you. I don’t know the boundaries you now have or how you see us,” he tells me. I hate the evident frustration in his voice.
“Kiss me, Silas,” I softly demand. The way he closes the space between us in less than a second and his lips meet mine. He cups my cheeks with his hands and I wen my hand into the back of his hair, feeling his soft hair against my fingers. Kissing Silas feels weird, but it doesn’t feel bad. I feel like something is wrong, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what is missing. Could it be my feelings for him?
He slowly pulls away and I feel his eyes searching my face for something. I don’t want to look him in the eyes, because I don’t know what to tell him.
“You don’t… you don’t feel anything for me, right?” He is trying to sound natural but the pain in his voice doesn’t escape my notice.
“I just need some time. Can you give me that?” My heart is beating so fast.
“Of course, Rosie. Tell me what you want, and I will do it.” His smile isn’t real, and I don’t like it. I don’t like the pain in his eyes. I’m not used to Silas being like that.
“Silas, I’m not breaking up with you. I just need you to walk me through our relationship and be patient with me,” I tell him.
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I don’t want to lose Silas. I know I may be selfish, but part of me knows that I need him because he is a big part of the period I cannot remember.
He reaches for my hand and brings it to his mouth to kiss it. “We will do anything you want, Rosie,” he assures me. Despite the confusion I’m drowning in, I’m certain that being with Silas will provide me with the safety and security I’m currently looking for.