The Alpha novel Chapter 15

---Derek’s POV---

She stayed in her room for the remainder of the night. I had some cooks send up meals, and she barely touched it.

It pissed me off. She’s so underweight, and she barely eats.

I felt guilty. I caused her attack today. I know I did, there was no denying it. My wolf was basically ignoring me, so I didn’t have to hear the lecture from him. I shrugged it off. She was a baby anyways, a crybaby.

My wolf stirred inside me, obviously not happy about my comment.

I didn’t care. I sat in my office, focused on my work, and tried to block her out of my thoughts. The way her eyes shattered when she saw that girl and I. It ached. The whole time there was this pain in my abdomen, and I’ve concluded that the majority of it was hers. I still feel it. It’s distracting.

And what I hated the most was when I kissed Lindsay, my mind couldn’t help but compare her loose, dry lips to my Flower’s soft sensual lips. Despite Violet’s obvious lack of experience, she was so addictive.

I wanted her. My wolf wanted her. But I’m not going to have her. I wasn’t lying to her, she was a very fragile, damaged girl. I needed my mate, my Luna to be a strong, solid woman. That wasn’t Violet. Violet barely had a backbone, if not none at all.

( ‘You fucking bastard, she’s so fucking strong to go through years of torture.’ )

I rolled my eyes and cut him off. As much as it pained me, deep down, I knew it was right- I couldn’t have her. I was too much for her- she wasn’t stable enough right now, and it’d take time to build her up.

I hated that she tried to harm herself and I was a dick to her today. I regretted how I treated her. I regretted checking if that blonde was okay, instead of my Violet.

I know that pathetic ass Chris yelled at Violet a lot, hit her, and did the horrendous things he did to her. So in response- I’m yelling at her when she harms herself. It made sense to me- I just didn’t want her to fear me constantly like how she did with him.

I had Mallory and Garret loaded with work right now, and I knew Mallory always saw Violet through-out the day. Maybe I should have Mallory take a break and see her? Help her through her emotions? Or perhaps she could meet Garret? Or maybe his mate? Maybe she needed another female in her life?

It was getting later, the sting in my abdomen hadn't left. Should I go see her? That would make everything worse, I was trying to distance myself from her, forget about her. I didn’t care if it meant fucking women, although truth be told, last night with Lindsay didn’t hit the same. She didn’t notice. I didn’t expect her to.

She wasn’t Violet- not even close. She couldn’t compare at all. I wanted to hold Violet, I wanted to sleep with her, caress her, wipe her tears off her cheeks, kiss her- everything. I needed to do something.

I got up, closing and locking my door to my office. I walked right down to her room. I wouldn’t go in. The pain was bubbling, I heard her soft cries, they were so faint and small.

I knew she wasn’t harming herself, I would’ve felt it. I removed everything from that room. Hell- it didn’t even have a mirror anymore. The fact that she managed to break it was slightly infuriating, and then proceeded to cut her wrist with her bloodied hands.

Wilted Flower…

My wolf stirred in me. Not for me to see her, or leave or anything. Instead, it was like he was anticipating something. I shook it off and turned, walking to my room.

I quickly took a shower and threw on some boxers and settled in bed. I felt myself dozing off to the image of a girl with chestnut hair and russet orbs.

I woke up slightly after falling asleep to the sound of my door closing. I turned my head over to see Violet’s silhouette.

“Flower?” I questioned, my voice slightly groggy.

“Derek…” she whispered, nearing my bed. She cautiously sat on it and looked at me. She had a slightly hungry look in her eyes and I raised my eyebrow at her.

“Flower, is there something you need? It’s…” I turned my head to the digital clock on my nightstand, but I couldn’t make out the numbers, “...late…” I mumbled to her.

She slowly crawled over to me in the middle of the bed, “Derek…” her smooth, gentle voice whispered.

I sat up, resting my back against the headboard as I eyed her curiously. I did a quick scan of her body to make sure she had no injuries or anything, she didn’t have any fresh ones.