The Alpha novel Chapter 30

I was avoiding Derek. Rightfully so. I went to Hannah’s and she was excited to see me, we hung out for hours until Garret came home. She offered to stay for dinner and Garret didn’t have a problem with it, but I felt like it would be a burden so I declined.

We had a nice time, in my opinion, I hoped she felt the same. We watched some movies, talked, joked, she even wanted to do my make-up. It was the first time I saw myself in a mirror in a while. My face had some color to it and my hair seemed lighter.

She gave me the dress and coaxed me to try it on. It was a purple, spaghetti strap, mid-length dress. Embarrassingly, when I did try it on for her, I completely broke down in her bathroom when I saw the scars on the back.

At that moment, I don’t think I’ve ever hated myself more. Hannah immediately comforted me, telling me there was nothing to be ashamed of. It took some time but she calmed me down. I told her I couldn’t wear it, but she insisted I did, that I looked good in it, and I could just wear a cardigan with it.

I went back to Derek’s home after Garret and snuck my way up to my room. I didn’t bother eating, some memories bouncing in my head after the dress incident. I ended up taking it home, and I put it in the closet, grabbing some clothes and going into the bathroom to change.

I was slightly taken back when I turned on the light because on the wall there was a reflexive rectangle. A mirror.

Derek put in a mirror? Because I asked?

My wolf warmed up at the thought that he cared, but I was so shaken from his actions yesterday that I couldn’t share the same feeling as Sage. I guess now my goal was to not cut myself with it. Could I even break it?

What about the razors?

I doubt he would put those back, and I was right. I checked the bathroom and found none.

The next day, I also avoided Derek.

To keep myself busy, in a beneficial way, I went and saw Socorro. He gave me a set of pens because as he said, he wanted me to track my feelings and thoughts, that and he forgot to last time. The session went well, of course there were a few episodes when we discussed Chris and he asked to call in Derek when I couldn’t calm down after a moment. Thankfully he didn’t.

Although part of me missed him, I shouldn’t but I seriously couldn’t help it.

I was feeling more comfortable around him, although each time sessions started I would get very shy. It took some time for the embarrassment to wear off and then we were able to discuss what was needed and wanted.

When I went back to the house, I put away the pens in the nightstand with my inhaler before I carefully walked back down. I didn’t want to see Derek. My wolf wanted to, my bond tugging with unease without him.

Maybe I should’ve, he did put a mirror in the room, as I asked. But still, I didn’t. I ate half a sandwich before I went back to my room.

Then, it was the day of the ceremony.

I had a small breakfast and of course, distanced myself from Derek. I took a shower and shaved with a razor that Hannah gave me. She knew why Derek wouldn’t give me one, but after she made me promise to not hurt myself, she gave me an extra one she had. Our secret.

I got out and did my makeup, and put on the dress. I took a deep breath as I looked at my reflection. My eyes started to produce tears as I saw how scrawny and scarred I was. They gathered in my eyes, daring to fall and ruin my make-up.

( ‘It’s okay Violet, you can do this.’ )

I whined in response. I didn’t want to do this, I wasn’t happy with my body or how it looked. I was too skinny and although my complexion was gaining color, it still looked like a pasty-olive color. Dull.

Nonetheless, I pulled myself together. I grabbed a black button-down and pulled it over my shoulders so it covered my exposed back and shoulders and I put on my shoes.

I walked downstairs and had to face Derek. He was already waiting at the door and he checked my body as I walked up to him. My face flushed at his attention and I kept my head down so he wouldn’t notice. Sage purred in anticipation and that confused me.

“You look beautiful Violet,” Derek complimented me. “Smell amazing,” he whispered to himself.

I stuttered for a second finding the words to use, “thank you,” I whispered.

He hummed and reached for my hand. He grabbed it and pulled me to him. I let out a small breath and I looked up at him.

He was so pretty.

His hair was done neatly and he was dressed in a deep brown button-up that made his skin look tan. His eyes stood out.

“Like what you see?” Derek broke me out of my trance and I blushed. “I’m just teasing Flower, come on,” he opened the door and walked with me.

It was nearing dawn and was breathtaking outside. The sky a deep purple, navy taking its spot as stripes of orange disintegrated behind the tall trees. I felt warm. I’m not sure if it was the weather or if it was my wolf happy that Derek was being nicer to me.

He’ll probably lash out at me tonight and make me feel worse.

We got to the ceremony and it was nicely set-up. There were lights set up and tables and seats. It was beautiful.

Derek ran it nicely, and even though I was against it, he had me up on the stage when he finalized Garret as the Beta of Night Stone. They stood at the podium as I sat with some higher-ranking officials behind it. Then he introduced Hannah as Beta female.

They were both nicely dressed. Hannah dressed in a light blue long dress and Garret wore a nice button-down and a tie that matched Hannah’s outfit.

It was a nice celebration and afterward, people mingled, danced, , and congratulated Garret and Hannah. I was getting warming as time progressed, uncomfortably warmer. I wasn’t really into the partying so I was sitting at one of the tables, slowly drinking my water to cool myself down. Sage kept urging for me to see Derek and there were a few times I saw him looking over at me. I would get warmer and he’d studied me before going back to what he was doing.

“Good evening Violeta,” I turned my head to see Socorro. I gave a smile in return, “you look lovely tonight.”

“Thank you,” I rushed, not used to compliments. He smiled and nodded.

“Of course. How are you?” he asked as he took a seat at the round table.

“I’m doing okay, just hot,” I told him and he had a knowing glint in his eyes. “How a-are you?” I asked.

“Doing just fine. I’m surprised Alpha hasn’t gotten you yet,” I raised my eyebrows in confusion at that. He went to tell me but a woman called his name, “well, that’s my wife. I’m sure you’ll figure out what I mean, try not to let anyone near you. I’ll see you later,” he smiled and got up, leaving me confused.

More time went on, my wolf craved Derek more and more and I got hotter and hotter. I got up and started to walk away, back to the house. Sage growled at me for walking away from Derek but I ignored her.

Yearning? A small fire of desire building up in me. A desire for Derek. As I was walking away, Sage suddenly purred in anticipation and before I could question it, there was a hand that grabbed my arm. Sparks flew and I gasped. I felt myself cool down slightly before I flamed back up.

Heat.

I turned and faced him, his eyes were dark, pooling with lust. He pulled me closer to him, my body melting with his. A sigh of relief left my lips as I cooled.

“De-”