Thirty-Three: Natalie
Natalie’s P.O.V.
I felt a pain in my chest as I realized that he was only seconds away from admitting that he had made a mistake by choosing me and sending me back home. If he did, I could live with it, but I was also frozen. with a deep panic that I wouldn’t ever feel his arms around me again or get to enjoy the way the room. smelled like him after he showered.
He may not have let me in, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t already wormed his way into my heart. Even if it was only a small amount. I was hooked on him. I was jealous of Joselin, and I was angry when I didn’t get to spend time with him.
The sudden realization that I wanted him to stay in my life… that I wanted to learn more about him, not just because I wanted a civil relationship but because I wanted him to be mine, was terrifying. I had never felt like this before, even for Jake. With him, we were just comfortable.
We dated because it felt right, and we enjoyed each other’s presence and touch. If I was being honest with myself, I enjoyed having someone who protected me and he enjoyed being seen as someone’s hero. With Killian, I couldn’t even say if we were officially a couple. But the more time I spent around him, the more I discovered this insatiable need to talk to him, touch him, and be near him. He was a like a magnet, constantly drawing me in and then flipping over when the sun rose and pushing me away.
But he had been right. It had only been one day, but after last night he was putting forward an honest effort to make things better between us. I was woman enough to admit that he was right.
I wasn’t ready to give up on whatever we had or could have in the future.
He seemed to pick up on my turmoil. Perhaps he could hear my heart, or maybe he could smell that I was stressing, but his eyebrows pulled together.
“I don’t want to yell, and I don’t want to fight. We have already covered that I have never had anything to do with Joselin. For you to believe me, is up to you, and I know that it will take time for me to earn your trust.” He let out a deep breath but this time I was the one confused. This wasn’t how a break-up conversation went. “For the rest of it, well…”
He leaned back against the couch with a sigh as the weight of the world seemed to grow heavier on his shoulders, pulling them down further.
“During dinner yesterday,” Killian said as he rubbed his hand over his face before staring at me, his deep hazel eyes filled with torment. “There was a sighting just outside of the city. I sent out patrols and came right back to you.”
Vampires.
If they were that close then, the people would be in danger. I hadn’t been mad at him for the dinner itself, but I had the feeling if he was bringing it up, there was more to the story.
“During the ball, another one of my men were killed. It was inside the city this time. He was found in an alley. I had to go talk to his family and tell them what happened. I was going to have you come with me, but I didn’t want to take you away from your first ball. I thought with Charlie there, you would still be able to enjoy yourself.” His hazel eyes found mine, and I felt the bundle of clothes lower in my hold until I dropped them to the ground.
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