The Beginning After The End novel Chapter 220

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Chapter 220

Chapter 220: The Weight Of A Choice

TESSIA ERALITH

Whether it was from the relief that a lance had arrived or because the backlash of overusing my beast will had finally set in, I passed out.

The sun had nearly set, casting a red hue to the thick blanket of fog when I woke up. I found myself on top of a small wyvern with several soldiers stationed around me with weapons drawn, but the battle had already ended.

My body ached and the very act of keeping my eyes open sent sharp waves of pain to my temples. But I couldn’t stop staring at the scene.

The battle had ended; we had won. However, what I was focused on were the injured soldiers in my unit being carried off while the dead were buried on the spot. Bodies that should be taken to their families for a proper ceremony were left in the very spot they were killed.

I scrambled off the winged reptile, alarming the soldiers on guard. They tried to help me back up, thinking I fell, but I waved them away.

Anger rose in the pit of my stomach and had I succumbed to the impulse I might’ve actually begun lashing out at the soldiers burying our fellow allies.

But I stopped myself, taking my frustrations out on the dirt below my hands. Even if it wasn’t proper, I knew there was no choice. There was an army of Alacryans still marching their way to Zestier City, the very heart of my kingdom. There was no time to spare for the dead when every bit of time and effort would be needed in defending against the siege.

One of the guards gently pulled me up to my feet and gestured toward the wyvern. “Head Tessia. Please remain on the mount in case anything happens.”

Even then, what right do I have to get angry? Aren’t I the one to blame for the deaths that happened here? If it wasn’t for my selfishness, how many of those being buried right now would’ve survived?

I knew it wasn’t healthy to fall into this pit of self-blame and ‘what ifs’ but with Vernett’s taunts still echoing in my head, it was hard not to. Regardless, I began climbing back onto the mount when something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention.

Shaking off the guard, I started running.

It can’t be.

I made my way through the medics helping the injured and the emitters making their rounds to the soldiers in more serious conditions. It was hard for me to breathe as my eyes remained glued to the emitter kneeled on the ground and the patient she was helping.

It was Caria, unconscious. I fell to my knees, but before I could get any closer, a hand blocked my path.

I looked up to see a stoney-eyed Darvus staring at me with an expression that I’d never seen before. “She was just barely able to fall asleep with a sedative. Don’t wake her up.”

Stannard was also nearby, disheveled and covered in dirt. After seeing me, though, he looked away.

Neither had any injuries besides a few scratches and scrapes, but the same couldn’t be said for Caria.

I watched, dumbfounded, as the emitter began closing the wound on her left leg... or rather, what was left of it. The man had his hands clasped over the mangled stump, applying pressure, but blood still gushed between his fingers, forming a crimson pool.

I stared, both awestruck and horrified, at the sight of Caria’s wound rapidly healing. The skin around her open wound began closing in together to form a lumpy knot of flesh.

I knew before that emitters couldn’t regenerate new limbs, but seeing the wound close over the bottom of her thigh made it seem irreversible.

That’s when it hit me.

The bright and energetic Caria, whose talent as an augmenter was only outshined by her love for martial arts, would never be able to walk on her own two feet again.

“H-How...” I muttered, my vision blurring from the tears welling up.

“ How? ” I heard Darvus retort. “You leave us to go on your own solo crusade and—”

“Stop, Darvus. People are watching.” Stannard pulled him away and locked eyes with me before dipping his head in a bow. “I apologize for his outburst, Head Tessia.”

The blonde conjurer that was normally shy and kind-hearted, regarded me coldly.

I shook my head. “Stannard...”

My two teammates ignored me, huddling close by Caria and asking the emitter how the wound was healing.

Darvus was right. It was my fault. I had a role that I was supposed to fill, but I chose to go off on my own, thinking that I could help more with my strength.

No. To be honest with myself, I probably thought at one point that being a silver core mage entitled me to greater battles than merely defending a position.

And because of that, I abandoned my teammates. No amount of convincing myself that she could’ve still incurred the injury even if I was there helped alleviate the terrible pressure weighing down on my chest.

“It’s time to go,” a familiar voice said from behind.

I didn’t look back—my eyes remained locked on Caria’s peaceful slumber. How would that change when she woke up. Would she blame me like Darvus and Stannard? Would she hate me?

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. I had to stay strong. This was just the beginning. The battle to defend the capital of Elenoir would be where I could make up for my mistakes.

“Tessia Eralith.”

The voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Turning around, I saw General Aya clad in light armor with several guards close behind her.

“The rider is ready to depart. You’ll be going back to the Castle immediately, Head Tessia,” the elven lance stated as she turned around.

“The Castle?” I replied. “I don’t understand. The Alacryan army is marching towards Zestier right now. There’s no time to visit—”

General Aya looked back over her shoulder, her sharp gaze cutting off my words. “Perhaps I haven’t made myself clear. You will be withdrawn from battle until further notice.”

I quickly scrambled back up to my feet. “Wait, General! I-I can still fight! Please.”

The lance’s usually inviting and charming demeanor was laced with impatience but she kept her voice polite. “Please be wary of your position as an Eralith. Taking into consideration your current state of mind, I have already told the Council that you are unfit for battle.”