The Beginning After The End novel Chapter 462

Chapter 462

Chapter 460: Abandoned

NICO SEVER

As the tempus warp enveloped us in its magic, pulling us across space to the preprogrammed destination, I examined the bone-deep aching sensation that gripped my chest like a prolonged cardiac event. It was foolish—and human, too stupidly human. It wasn’t really the sharpness of Cecilia’s tone or her shrinking patience that made me feel like a twice-kicked dog dragging my tail in her wake…

No, what really bothered me was the fact that I couldn’t help but feel this treatment was deserved. I didn’t believe in karma as any sort of actual manifestation of results based on the inherent goodness of one’s own actions, but every time Cecilia snapped at me, I remembered myself in the early days of her reincarnation—equal parts desperate and terrified— and how that unhealthy alchemy of emotions led to the occasional cruelty to her, the person I had done everything—given everything—to see again in this life.

She had lied to me, kept things from me…but I had done the same to her first. I had helped Agrona corrupt her memories and implant false ones in her mind, building myself up as some fairy tale hero of her previous life, scrubbing out Grey and inserting myself in every positive place throughout her short and unhappy life.

With jarring suddenness, we appeared in the receiving chamber near Taegrin Caelum’s base. An eruption of motion and noise greet us as the soldiers and attendants hurried to solute, visibly caught off guard by our appearance. Instinctively, my gaze panned across the faces, looking for Draneeve, only for me to remember an instant later that he wasn’t there and never would be again. I had helped him escape.

I had helped him. After being cruel and awful to him, I had helped him escape the twisted life he had to live serving Agrona.

Watching Cecilia’s gunmetal gray hair bounce as she marched quickly past the surprised attendants, I steeled myself, wrapping up the hurt and crushing it down deep. I had failed Cecilia again and again, first in our last life, where I had let her be taken and hadn’t found her soon enough. And then again, in the end, when I had been right there, but I had only watched as Grey ran her through…

I missed my step as I followed Cecilia up the stairs, a sharp exhalation slipping out. She turned to regard me with concern, but I waved it away, and she continued on, surging forward on a wave of tension and eagerness.

It still didn’t seem real, the knowledge that Grey hadn’t intentionally murdered her. I inwardly cringed as I thought of all the things I had done, claiming that moment as justification for the most horrible actions. For years, back on Earth, I had fomented this hatred, biding my time as I planned how to take King Grey’s life in revenge…and then here, reincarnated, hadn’t I made destroying Grey and reincarnating Cecilia my entire life’s purpose?

A memory surged unbidden into the spotlight of my consciousness. In it, I kneeled before a magical shield, rubbing my eyes and blinking in disbelief. Through the magical barrier, I was looking at a figure, hoping it was a trick of the light, a hallucination, a mistake, but then as now, there was no mistaking that gunmetal hair, even matted with dirt and blood.

My mind had raced as I wrestled with the understanding that Tessia was there, in the middle of the attack on Xyrus Academy, when she was supposed to be with Arthur. Draneeve and Lucas Wykes had captured her, were ready to…

I had been so angry. So ready to kill. Hadn’t I repeated it over and over as my suppressed Alacryan self clawed and tore its way to the surface? Feelings so strong they had broken the lock Agrona had placed on my mind, but why?

I stopped climbing and leaned against the stairway wall. These memories had never been so clear. I needed to digest them, to understand something, a detail about my own behavior.

Ahead, Cecilia stopped and turned, the runic tattoos highlighted against her skin, but I didn’t see her. I looked harder, but I couldn’t see Cecilia…only Tessia Eralith.

The truth was that Tessia had been so important to me that witnessing her near death had been enough to shatter a spell placed by Agrona himself. But not because I had been close to Tessia. No…it was Arthur. I knew how important she was to him, and he was—had been—so important to me…my entire life…

Just as Grey had been on Earth. At least, until Cecilia arrived.

My best friend. My brother. And…I had hated him, tried to kill him…because of something he didn’t even do.

“Nico? Come on, we need to…Nico? What’s wrong?” Cecilia’s frustration melted away into tenderness as she took a step back down the stairs. Her hand raised, reaching for my hair, but she stopped just shy of actually touching me.

My face was scrunched up with the effort not to break down into tears. “You abandoned me.”

Tessia’s mouth turned down into a deep frown. “Nico, I’m right here. I haven’t left you.”

I shook my head, struggling to control my voice. I had to swallow twice before the words would come out. “I was doing everything I could to rescue you, and you left me behind. You gave up on me. Do you have any idea how torturous my life was after you died?”

Her brows pinched together, her nose wrinkling as her frown pressed into a straight slash across her elven face. “More torturous than my own before my death?” Regret immediately flooded over her features, and she let out a shaky breath. “You’ve never told me about after…on Earth.”

“There never seemed a point,” I answered, my voice a low moan that was almost embarrassing to hear.

“No, I suppose not. I…” She hesitated, swallowing heavily. “For what it’s worth, I thought I was protecting you.” Her expression cooled suddenly, one brow rising slightly higher than the other. “We’ve had days—weeks—to talk about this. I can see that you’ve been simmering in your own anger, building yourself up for a fight, but now isn’t the time—”

“Cecilia!” I barked, my voice amplified by the close quarters.

She flinched, and the expression of hurt was so purely Cecilia that she suddenly shifted in my eyes and mind, no longer the image of Tessia Eralith but once again Cecilia—my Cecil.

“I’m sorry,” I breathed out, choked by the pain and desperation to be heard. “I just…Grey. Arthur. I—he…” I shook my head, trying to clear the cobwebs from my stupid skull. “I didn’t just lose you. I lost him too, and without the two of you, I…don’t know. I lost myself.” I clenched my eyes shut so tight that stars began to burst behind the lids.

Soft fingers laced through my own, and my eyes snapped open. Cecilia’s face was hardly an inch in front of mine, looking down from one step above. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t know how to tell you. It was…a shock for me too. It took…too long to sort out the real from the implanted.”

I flinched at her words, which stung like the bite of a venomous hunter fly.

Cecilia’s jaw worked wordlessly as she seemed to struggle for what to say, then her gaze flattened and went blank, turning inward.

When she didn’t say anything for several long seconds, I cleared my throat. “Cecil?”

She scoffed and gave a small shake of her head, which she cocked slightly as if she were listening to something far away.

I squeezed the hand that was still holding mine, and her eyes refused and jumped to me.

“What just happened?” I asked nervously, suddenly worried for her.

Cecilia’s jaw clenched as she ground her teeth. “Nothing, nevermind.” She gave a small shake of her head and pressed her fingertips into her temples, looking pained. “We just need to find Agrona, and I’ll explain everything.”

“I…sure. Okay.”

Slowly, Cecilia began ascending again, grabbing my hand firmly and pulling me behind her. I let myself be tugged along, emotionally drained and mind blank as freshly pressed parchment. There were too many things to think through. I didn’t know enough, lacked the understanding to make decisions. The dread that Agrona was lying to us still sat in my guts like curdled milk, but I couldn’t be sure of anything.

There was a sharp edge of fear to my thoughts. I had seen it: Cecilia fraying at the edges like this. Her behavior was becoming more erratic, self-doubt bleeding from her very pores. It was too much pressure, to be the Legacy; that was no different in this world. I knew the spirit of Tessia Eralith remained dug into her mind like a tick, but she wouldn’t ask Agrona to help soothe the voice again. If she let him in like that, he might see the lies.

The thought was too much, and so I focused on the thing I always had: Cecilia herself. The feel of her skin against mine, the sway of her body as she climbed ahead of me, the one true piece of knowledge that I was absolutely certain of: I would do whatever it took to ensure our life together. If this world had to burn for our new lives to begin, so be it—

Except, even as I had this thought—an old line of thinking worn into the pathways of my mind—I had to second guess myself. I didn’t allow myself to dig any deeper than that, not wanting to face the question of what, exactly, I would or wouldn’t do to ensure that our vision would come true. It was too difficult and painful. And I couldn’t think about the fact that there might be a line out there, invisible but already drawn in the dirt, that I couldn’t cross.

Cecilia led me to Agrona’s private wing, brushing past guards and servants alike, unlocking mana-locked doors with a wave of her hand as easily as I might brush away a cobweb. When she didn’t find Agrona waiting for us in any of the expected places, she led me down into a labyrinthine series of tunnels and rooms that I had never seen before.

“Where are we?” I asked, immediately uncomfortable.

“Some kind of reliquary, I think,” she said off-hand. “I found him down here last time I visited, or he found me. He’s got to be here somewhere.”

Cecilia didn’t open any of the doors as she rushed around, clearly navigating by her sense of mana. Despite a powerful but dangerous-feeling sense of curiosity building with each door we passed, I followed in her increasingly desperate wake, allowing myself to be dragged along like a frightened child.

After twenty minutes or more of going in circles throughout the expansive system of hallways and small rooms, Cecilia began to slow, the urgency of her searching draining out of her as it became clear Agrona wasn’t there. We meandered a bit longer in silence, and I could see some thought simmering beneath the surface of her expression. Then, approaching it as if afraid of the contents, she came to a stop before one of the many, many doors.

“This is it,” she said after a moment, her tone uncertain.