The Best Friend's Contract novel Chapter 46

Our eyes meet for a longer duration than usual, in which I begin to realise that my eyes are staring deeply into her; not just carelessly glancing but the way she is looking back at me, shows anything but love. Probably a friend-kind-of-love but nothing more than that; instantly causing me to clear my throat and look away, glancing down at my wrist watch.

''I think I'm not feeling well. I'm going inside,'' I say before making my way towards the house but I'm stopped by her grabbing onto my hand.

''Are you sick? What's wrong?'' She asks and to my surprise, she starts to stand on her tiptoes before placing her hand on my forehead; trying to check my body temperature before quickly grabbing onto my hand in order to check my pulse. ''Why is your heart beating so fast?'' She raises an eyebrow.

''Probably just hot out here,'' I reply after quickly pulling my hand away from her grip.

''But, it's pretty windy.'' She frowns, not expecting me to pull my hand away so harshly and truth be told, I didn't expect myself to react the way I did, either but there's just some sort of nervousness spreading all over my body, something I've never felt before . . . not even when I saw my first crush in high school.

Ignoring her, I quickly walk away as I keep on chanting in my mind to stay calm and be cool; not to overreact or be foolish in front of her. I don't want her to notice anything different going on with me and it's best if we just remain friends as we always have been; not carelessly or foolishly stutter.

''For fuck's sake, Aidan. Calm the fuck down,'' I say to myself, repeatedly.

I look up at my reflection in the mirror, seeing how my hair's a mess and my lips are somehow slightly trembling but other than that, I'm good. Quickly running my fingers through my hair, I manage to make myself look presentable.

Walking out of the bathroom, my eyes meet with a concerned Kenna; standing in front of the bathroom door which surprises me more than a ghost can. Our eyes meet as she crosses her arms, ''What's up with you, huh?'' She asks, eyes squinting.

''Nothing, Kenna. I'm going back outside,'' I reply without paying another second looking in her eyes.

''Avoiding eye contact, short replies, in need of going away. These are the signs of silent treatment. Are you having problems at work? Did I say or do something wrong? Am I the cause of this?'' She continues to ask multiple questions, stopping me.

No. No and yes. If only I can say what I feel inside, the sudden burst of emotions in my body and just get this over or probably just cup onto her face and meet her lips in a passionate and meaningful kiss but I can't; there are certain things that I can't do and one of it is being passionate with my own wife.

''I have a slight headache. That's it,'' I reply with a small smile on my face before running the back of my hand at the side of her face, feeling the softness of her skin against mine.

Just like that, I start to walk away from her. This time, she doesn't bother to follow after me and ask more questions which is a relief because I feel as if I need to be away from her for awhile; not because of anything else but because I need to reassure my own feelings for Kenna, I can't simply confirm it without further inspections.

--

That night, I've been trying my best to keep myself away from Kenna; just for a little while. I want to make sure that these feelings will go away in a short amount of time than letting them linger for much longer.

Still, I can't keep my eyes away from her. I would be looking at her for a few times in a minute and I would even search for her when she's not around, which means that my plan is just plain bullshit. Maybe, I just have to start accepting how these feelings wont simply go away.

I only have to admit that they come with reasons. Unsettled reasons.