The Girl He Marked by Laila Callaway novel Chapter 3

Xaden's POV.

'Anyway, I kind of spiraled. I kept telling myself that five was no different from two. Then, ten was no different from five. I'd already fucked up by losing my virginity, so how could sleeping with other people be any different I know, it's stupid logic.'

I stop walking and turn to face Noelle, she mirrors my actions, facing me. I run my hand down my face and try to find the right words.

'As the oldest in my family, I've always been expected to set an example. My mum found condoms in my room when I was fifteen and she was so disappointed in me, I can't explain how shit I felt. Things weren't the same between us, so I slept around even more, because I enjoyed feeling wanted. I didn't feel wanted at home.

'I told myself that I'd fucked up too much to deserve a mate and that, even if I did meet her, she'd never forgiven me for what I'd done and would reject me. I snowballed, basically.

'I don't know whether this makes it worse or better, but the girls never meant anything to me. I rarely slept with the same girl twice and I never went on dates or that kind of stuff. It was nothing in my mind.'

Noelle looks thoughtful for a moment.

'I guess I'm relieved that they didn't mean anything to you, but it does make you look like an asshole for never caring about someone you were intimate with.'

I nod quickly. 'Totally agree with you, I was an asshole.'

'So, what changed your mind again'

I smile at that question, and we start walking forwards again.

'Rory had been getting on at me for ages, just like my mum, telling me that I would regret everything when I met my mate. Then, Axel met Grace and I saw how things changed for him. They all agreed that, if I changed my ways and behaved from now on, it would help towards proving myself to my mate when I finally met her.'

Noelle gives me a small smile. 'Well, I'm glad you decided to stop.'

'Does that answer your question' I ask hopefully.

I really don't want to talk about my mistakes anymore. I hope this gives her some closure on the topic and we can move on from this.

'Yes, it does.'

'Now…do you wanna tell me your story' I coax her.

Noelle grimaces and holds my hand a little tighter.

'Okay, but please, as I tell you this, remember that everything is different now,' she says and she sounds nervous, which makes me worried.

'Okay…' I reply uncertainly.

Noelle swallows and then begins.

'When I was thirteen, I fell in love with the Alpha's son in my old pack. I know it sounds silly, saying I was in love at thirteen, but I really was. We become inseparable and the 'power' couple at our school,' she tells me.

I grit my teeth, not enjoying hearing her tell me about being in love with another guy.

'When I turned fifteen, we slept together for the first time. It was our two—year anniversary; we were in love and convinced that we were mates. Our parents thought we were going to be mates, too. Everyone in the pack did.

'On my sixteenth birthday, I felt no sparks with him. I was heartbroken, but we waited a few months for his birthday. He found his mate that day, and it wasn't me.'

Her voice is even as she explains. She stops walking and pulls on my wrist to get me to look at her.

'I don't love him anymore, please know that Xaden,' she says urgently. 'After he found his mate, we stopped talking. I was hurt and I begged my parents for us to move, I couldn't be around them every day, seeing how happy they were.'

She takes a deep breath, and her dark eyes meet mine.

'By the time my parents had found new jobs and bought a house here, I had moved on from him, but we were happy to move, nonetheless. I am completely over him; I was able to say goodbye before I left and leave without regrets. I don't even think about him anymore, it's only you.'

Relief floods through me. I needed that reassurance.

Just to check, I ask her. 'You're sure'

'You know that I can't lie to you.' She looks me straight in the eye. 'I don't care about him anymore.'

'Good,' I reply with a sigh of relief.

Noelle looks up at me with a thoughtful expression. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, and I wait for her to say her thoughts aloud.

'Seeing as we've put everything out there, told each other our pasts and regrets, do you think that…maybe…we could start over You've tried so hard to show me that I can trust you and you know that I've moved on from my past. Could we just be us now'

A grin stretches across my face. 'Just us Mates with no past'