“Jess –“ Rafe holds out a hand towards his cousin, deeply aware that he’s crossed a bridge he never, ever wanted to cross. That he’s said the words his cousin has maybe been waiting for, and fearing, his entire life.
“No,” Jesse says, shaking his head, his eyes filling with tears. “You said it. Now own it. Because you’re fucking right.”
All of Rafe’s anger leaves him in a rush and he stares at his cousin, agonized at what he just did. At what he let his stupid rage lead him to – saying words he didn’t even fucking mean to his best friend in the world, just because he lost his temper and wanted – so badly – to hurt him in turn.
“Do you think it’s been easy for me?” Jesse asks Rafe, wiping hard at his eyes with his sleeve, desperate not to cry in front of his cousin but failing immediately at the task. “Growing up in your shadow? Standing next to you – the perfect Prince – my entire life? Being compared to you at every turn – in athletics, in academics, in looks, in charm, in ability, and yeah – in success with women? And always, always coming up short?”
Rafe stands straight, watching his cousin back away, hating himself.
“And I have never resented you for that Rafe – because I fucking love you. I celebrate you every day – all of your successes, and victories, and accomplishments, because I think you’re fucking great and you’re my cousin and my best friend. You’re my fucking brother. But did you ever think about what it was like for me? Did you ever consider that this is why I feel like I have to be funny all the time – because to get anyone to even look at me next to you I had to become your jester, your fucking clown?”
Jesse shakes his head, sniffing hard, trying desperately to stand straight.
“She is the first person who has seen beyond that,” Jesse says, pointing out towards the Castle where Daphne is. “Or at least, the first person outside of our family to see something in me that doesn’t pale in comparison to you. So excuse me if, yes, I run towards that, if I rejoice in finding someone who sees something good in me and want to hold on to it forever. Someone who wants to be with me for who I am, for what I have to offer.”
“Jesse, I –“
“No, fuck you Rafe,” Jesse snaps, cutting Rafe off with a sharp shake of his head. “Because it doesn’t kill me that she liked you first, I’m fucking used to that in my life. This whole thing,” he gestures around at the forest, “this entire fight is happening because it’s killing you that she had you kneeling at her feet and she still decided that she likes me better. You can’t stand that – you can’t stand one person on this earth not choosing you.”
Rafe hangs his head, devastated, wondering if Jesse is right. If he’s that arrogant, that conceited.
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