Chapter 80
“So, what was going on in there?” Jackson asks softly as we move through the quiet halls, glancing over his shoulder as we go.
“Don’t you know?” I ask, frowning up at him.
He just looks at me blankly, not answering.
“Well, then why did you interrupt?” I ask, confused. Because it’s one thing if Jackson interrupted because he knew that Alvez was going to be a creep, but quite another if he interrupted for…well, why else would he have interrupted?
“I don’t trust that guy,” Jackson sighs, the words slipping between clenched teeth. “Something’s…off about him.” He moves his eyes to me again, searching my face. “Was I wrong?” His words are tense.
I sigh, shaking my head. “No, you weren’t wrong, Jackson,” I say, looking forward as we climb into an elevator and Jackson presses the brass button, closing he doors. “I was…very uncomfortable in there.”
–
Jackson grunts in a self–satisfied way, pleased I think to have his instincts confirmed. “I
don’t like the way he looks at you,” he says, quite soft. “I knew it was going to be trouble when he gave me that note, asking you to come alone.”
“How did you know the note said to come alone?” I ask, looking up at him.
Jackson turns, instantly frowning down at me like the answer is obvious. “Because I read it.”
I burst out laughing, shaking my head at him. “Jackson, you can’t just read my mail.
“I was helping you!”
“That’s not an excuse!” but I’m smiling, and he smirks back at me, figuring out that I’m not actually mad. Because he really did help me – I’d have been in a very tricky situation, I think, had Jackson not come pounding on the door.
“Don’t let yourself be alone with him,” Jacksons murmurs as the elevator raises us up into
the air. “Bring Rafe or..or come get me. Or something.”
“All right.” I say softly, studying my mate’s profile as he pretends not to notice that I’m looking at him. And inwardly, I wonder how the hell he’s justifying this whole hero act to himself.
Because, I mean, it’s pretty obvious to me that Jackson is protective of me because some part of him knows, deep down, that I’m his mate or that I’m special to him, in some way. It’s happening, I think, on almost a bodily level he’s driven to ensure my safety by the same biological mechanism that makes a hen protect her chicks. But how…how the hell is he justifying it to himself?
—
He must know, my wolf says to me, sitting back on her haunches and turning her head curiously in Jackson’s direction. He must have figured it out and he’s just…playing it cool.
But as I study him, I’m not so sure. Jackson – he’s smart, but in some ways he’s so outside of our world, our culture. Would he be able to pick up on the little clues that Ben noticed, which might communicate to others that I’m a girl?
Or, like Luca, would he even be willing to address his attraction to me, if he feels it? I’ve heard that Northern communities are much, much less progressive with things like homosexuality and gender fluidity. Even if Jackson did feel a stirring towards me, would he let himself go there, the way Luca was so willing to?
I sigh as the doors open to the dormitory floor, shaking my head at my mate, wishing I could just…ask.
“What?” Jackson asks, stepping out of the elevator and turning his attention back to me. “Why are you sighing? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I murmur, shaking my head as I continue to look up at him, at the stark panes of his face. “I just….wish I had you figured out.”
Jackson almost stumbles a step as we walk down the quiet hall
almost, though. He’s too graceful, really, to actually do that. “Me?” he says in disbelief, gesturing towards himself. “You think I’m the mystery here?”
–
I smirk a bit, my eyes dancing, silently admitting that he’s right that I’m certainly the one keeping secrets. “You’ve got them too, you know,” I say quietly as we reach the stairs at the
end of the hall and begin to climb them up to my floor. “Things you’re keeping back from
Jackson’s the one who sighs now, shaking his head. “I’ll gladly tell you everything you want to know – every single thought in my head, Clark, for the secrets you’re keeping from me.”
Guilt builds in me as we make our way to my door. And
radiating from the entire hallway, from the silence bemehow, by the quietness
my own door, I know that I’m
the only one here that Jesse and Rafe are away, probably exercising. That Luca and Ben are likewise off doing their own thing.
It would be so easy, to just…tug Jackson inside…
To tell him everything…
But even as my wolf howls at me to do it do it do it, I shake my head up at Jackson, knowing that it’s still not right. Not yet.
Jackson sighs again, intuiting the direction of my thoughts, knowing that I’m still holding
on to my secrets.
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