“Why?” I ask quietly, tilting my head to the side. “Why would you have wanted to start early, at twenty-two? You were so much older, so much…readier for it when Rafe came along. And you wanted him so badly that you went to a sperm donor to get him. Isn’t it better, to bring a baby into the world when they’re really desired from the start?”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” mom says on a considerate sigh, casually leaning against one arm as she turns her face up to the ceiling, contemplative. “Sometimes the desire comes first, sometimes the baby does. I’m not sure it matters. But,” she says, turning her eyes back towards me. “I would have wanted to get started young so your dad and I could have lots more kids.”
I burst out laughing, shaking my head at her. “Mom! Us four are enough!”
“Of course you are, baby,” mom coos, grabbing at me and pulling me in close for another hug, pressing kiss after kiss to my hair. I grin, swatting her away. “But,” she says with a happy sigh. “Eight would have been enough too.”
“Mom, eight is far too many,” I murmur, suddenly regretting my little joke last night about eighteen. “What would you have even named them?”
“Rafe, Ariel, Mark, and Juniper,” she says instantly, her eyebrows raising with the truth of it. “All with a Jr. at the end.”
I burst out laughing again, shaking my head at her. “Mom!”
“It’s true!” she says, shoving my shoulder, laughing at me. “I had great plans to have a whole second batch of kids about ten years later, and then I was going to try all my parenting techniques again, and pit you all against each other in a great trial and see which group of four came out victorious –“
I laugh harder now, falling down into the blankets on the bed.
“It was going to be an amazing social experiment!” Mom says, laughing too, beaming down at me. “But, sadly, dad said no.”
I put my hands on my belly, which aches with so much laughing, turning my head back and forth. “Thank god for dad,” I murmur. “Someone has to hold this stupid family together.”
“Yes, thank the heavens for dad,” mom says, reaching out and stroking her fingers again through my hair. “And thanks also for your Jackson. He’s going to be…a fantastic father. If he ever gets over the shock of it.”
I look up at her, well pleased. “You really like him for me, don’t you?”
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