The Lover's Children novel Chapter 118

GEORGIE

I know those footsteps…

Oh… God…

And then, the door is open…

And he's standing there…

Borje: a dark silhouette, framed by the harsh white light which spills through his silver hair like the aura of the full moon.

His gaze drops to where, trembling, I find myself clutching at something. Belatedly, I realise it’s a spray-bottle of some cleaner or other. The words tumble from my lips, spilling out in a tide of garbled nonsense. “I didn’t mean to do it. Really. It was an accident. I knocked something and it fell. Then they all fell. And I was trying to tidy them and…”

“Oh, Georgie…”

He strides forward, pulling me to himself, cradling my face into his chest, wrapping me in his embrace. “Shhh… Calm down...” He cups the back of my head, stroking my hair. “It’s fine… We'll find a way through it.”

My face pressed against him, weeping and shivering. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!” And I don’t know what I’m sorry for. The mess I’ve made here. Or the mess I’ve made of my life. Or…

“Georgie, calm down...” He squeezes me. Then again, harder. “… It's alright.”

“It's not alright. I know it's all my fault and… Everything’s my fault and…” My words are swallowed once more by sobs.

“Georgie!” For a heartbeat, Borje voice is sharp, even forceful. “ Georgie, truly. It's okay. Everything is going to be fine. I'm with you.”

“But you won't stay with me. No one does.”

He unravels his arms from around me, pinning me by the shoulders to look me in the face. “I will stay with you. We’ll work through this. Together.”

“Really?” I snivel, swiping my eyes with my knuckles, then my nose with the back of my hand.

Borje Tuts, hooking a napkin from one of the lower shelves. “Wiping your nose on the back of your hand is very unhygienic…”

Then, examining the napkin, he sniffs, tosses it to one side and picks another one from a higher shelf, pushing it into my hand.

“Yes, I will stay with you but…” He glances around… “… not in a hospital broom cupboard.” His voice turns dry, but a smile cracks his lips. “If anyone found me in here with you, my professional reputation would be in tatters.”

And finally, looking around at the anarchy I've created, I chuckle. “I've got to clear this up. I can't leave it like this.”

“You can leave it exactly like this. We're leaving.” Opening the door a crack, he peers out, one way, then the other. Then, grabbing me by the wrist, he tows me out into the corridor. He winks. “C’mon, step lively. I don’t want to have to explain this.”

He lowers his voice. “If any of the cleaners winge about the mess or vandals, I'll make a formal complaint about locking up hospital facilities properly and ensuring visitors keep their children under control.”

One arm wrapped around my shoulders, he steers me outside through some side-door. “I’m guessing you’d prefer not to run into anyone else looking like that.”

“I must look a mess.”

“Yes, you do. Let’s get out of here.

*****

My humour fades, replaced by the cold knot gelling in my bowels. Borje, driving, glances sidelong at me, releasing the wheel long enough to squeeze my hand.

“Where are we going?”

“My apartment.”

“My car…”

“… Isn't going anywhere. Unless you're illegally parked?”

“No, just in the main parking lot.”

“Fine. I'll get you a visitor's pass tomorrow so you don't have to mortgage your soul to pay the fee.”

“You can do that?”

Lips twitching, he throws me a look sidelong. “In case you didn't notice, I'm a senior figure here. Yes, I can do that. Meanwhile, you are coming with me, and we're going to have this out.”

My stomach clutches. “Have it out?”

He sighs, slaps a palm on the wheel. “I'll rephrase that. You and I are going to consume alcohol. Then, we are going to talk. Then, we will keep consuming and talking until we figure the way through this.”

His fingers squeeze again. “I'm hoping that's what you want?”

Trying to be inconspicuous about it, I wipe a tissue over my runny nose. “Yes. It's what I want.”

“Good.” Borje gives me a sunny smile. “So, there's our first point of agreement.”

And my own smile blooms in return.

*****

In Borje’s lounge, he waves me to the settee, then ambles into the kitchen. A minute or so later, he returns with a tumbler in either hand. “Brandy.”

Taking an armchair opposite, his gaze steady on me, Borje sips. Then setting his glass to one side, he leans forward, elbows on knees. “Georgie, you’re trembling.”

Blinking back the prickle behind my eyes, I gulp at the brandy. It’s a good one. My Dad would like it. Velvet heat washes down my throat, but oddly, cooling my still-swollen eyes.

“Georgie?”

As I stare into my glass, it wells up inside me again. The sob breaks loose. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”

A sigh…

And a long release of air…

Then he’s beside me, his body close to mine, his arms around me. “What am I going to do with you?” He pinches my chin, angling my face to his. “I felt wretched too. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’ve cursed every word that came out of my mouth that day, time and again. We belong with each other, Georgie. Whatever happens next, we’re in it together.”

“But if we…”The words catch in my throat, not knowing whether to be a cough or a sob… “…If we just make each other miserable… Or…” I slump again… “… if I make you miserable…”

“Look, Georgie, why don't you stay here tonight…” I jolt alert but he holds up a palm…”Whoa… No subtext there. I meant just what I said. Stay here with me tonight. I won't try to make a move on you. But I'd like to be near you. And I’d like to have you near me.”

“I’d like that.”

*****

Borje’s apartment only has the one bedroom, the one bed, the large double where we first made love. He tosses something to me, flopping into my hand as I catch it. “I can't supply nightwear, I'm afraid. But one of my tee shirts will do for a nightgown for you.”

“Nightgown?”

“I promised you no sub-text. I meant it. I want to be your lover. But more than that, I want us to be friends. And friends can share sheets without making each other feel awkward.”

The tee-shirt is roomy, hanging to my thighs. As I exit the bathroom, Borje’s eyes crinkle. “It suits you, you know.”

He climbs into the bed beside me still wearing an undershirt and shorts. And he was right, his body heat, the scent of him close by, soothes me.

“Borje?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you.”

He loops an arm over me. “Like I said, we’ll work it through.” He kisses my cheek. “Now get some sleep.”

*****