Chapter 0428
While Elva was skipping around nearby, I explained to Susie everything that had happened the past few days with Nicholas and me, up to and including the most recent incident of him telling me he wanted to avoid having penetrative sex so I wouldn’t get pregnant.
Of course, I said all of this very quietly, careful of eavesdroppers.
“I can’t imagine he meant it as a rejection,” Susie said. She subtly placed a hand to her own stomach. “It’s smart to be careful. Things sometimes just… happen.”
“I know,” I said. “And I know he probably didn’t mean it badly, but it still hurts.”
“No probably about it,” Susie said. “He’s trying to protect you.”
I shook my head. I just couldn’t believe that, as much as I wanted to. Maybe that was part of it, but it wasn’t all of it. If he truly wanted me, wouldn’t we be able to face the whole world to be together?
“Look,” Susie said. “Why not just talk to him? Like I did with Mark. He probably doesn’t even realize what he did or how he sounded. Just now, he looked more confused than I’d ever seen anyone look. At least if you told him what he did wrong, he might be able to fix it.”
She was right, but I still hesitated. “Maybe this is a chance for a clean break,” I said.
Susie gasped. “What?”
“We’re going to have to say goodbye anyway. That’s been clear from the start. I’ve been avoiding it, and he has too. But I’m never going to be picked to be Luna. The royal family hates me. I’m his secret. There will come a day, sooner than later, where he will have to choose someone else to be his
Queen and leave me behind.”
1/3
“piper…”
“So shouldn’t I hold onto this hurt now, while I have it? Let it fester so the it easier to walk away from him when the time comes that I have to?”
“Do you think that will actually work?” she asked, “Or are you just kidding yourself?”
I couldn’t answer that.
“I could tell you what I think, but you won’t like it,” she said.
“Tell me,” I pressed.
“It will hurt either way,” Susie said. “So why hurt now when you don’t have to?”
1
I shook my head a little.
Across the room, Bridget and Nicholas had made their way back together. It was almost time to break for lunch. Bridget was telling Nicholas something, animatedly moving her hands. Nicholas stepped closer to her, presumably to hear her better. Much of the chatter in the room was growing louder, this close to lunch.
“They really do make a good–looking couple,” I said, hating myself for it.
But it was true.
The beautiful movie–star and the handsome prince who had been childhood sweethearts, someday side–by–side on the throne. They’d probably turn it into a movie. Maybe I’d be written as the villain who tried to keep them apart, just like my part in the play.
“Don’t say that,” Susie said. “You are being far too self–sacrificing.”
“I agree,” said Julian, suddenly at my other side. “Besides it’s a total lie. They make for a terribly–looking couple.”
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